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SOL Post 39 10/15/99
SOL Post 38 09/15/99
SOL Post 37 08/15/99


Volume 38 www.msties.com September 1999
Formerly The MSTies Anonymous Newsletter: News for the Obscure Convergence


In This Issue

From the Poobah
"Jenny For Your Thoughts" by mre@cinci.infi.net
"Sledgehammer/Forrester" by zapman@home.com
"MSTable Movies" by RMichel424@aol.com
"Call Me Ishmael" by bobishmael@sciti.com
"Better 'Bots and Satellites" by bgibron@yahoo.com
September MSTie of the Month: mistiegrrl@hotmail.com
October MST3K Schedule on SFC
Classifieds 3000

From the Poobah

And with the airing of 1003, that's all she wrote. But that doesn't mean that we have to stop writing -- far from it! Keep sending in your articles, bios, and classifieds... Also be sure to send your friendly newsletter columnists some feedback; I know they'd love to hear from their readers!
Remember, no matter where you go or who you are, you can always wave your freak flag high! Woo-eeeyukaaeeee!

"Jenny For Your Thoughts" by mre@cinci.infi.net

"MSTie Wars"

A long, long time ago in galaxy somewhere in time a space, young Joel Spacewalker dreams of being a MSTie knight the master of the funny jokes know as the forks. Meanwhile lovely Princess Gypsa's ship is being attacked. So she sends two robots Tom2Servo2 and Crow3PO with message of distress to Obi Beebio to save her. Tom2Servo2 and Crow3PO run into Joel and he gets to Obi Beebio. Meanwhile, Gypsa's ship has been overtaken by Frank troopers lead by the very evil Darth Green Forrester. Darth Forrester want know where the Riff Rebellion is located. Gypsa refuses to tell and Darth cries. Meanwhile Joel and Obi Beebio go get ship. They hire the cute Hans Miko and companion ChewBoboka who has pay debt to Torgoba the Hut. (I'll give you minute to imagine this and throw up.)

Meanwhile, Darth Forrester has the major weapon under construction, the Deep Hurting Star, which brings pain everywhere it goes. Hans Miko, Tom2Servo2, and Crow3PO, drive the ship to save the Princess. While Beebio trains Joel with the Forks and teaches him how use a light riff saver. Thanks to a hole in the plot, the gang saves the Princess, Obi Beebio is killed, and Darth goes crying to the Empress/his mother. The Empress is not pleased. The Riff Rebellion makes a plan to destroy the Deep Hurting Star. Hans Miko and ChewBoboka plan to leave. Joel Spacewalker and Tom2Servo2 are in one jet to go destroy the Deep Hurting Star. Darth Forrester also gets in a jet to fight against the Riff Rebellion. A long space battle scene ensues.

Just when Darth Forrester thinks he has Joel trapped, Hans Miko comes in to save him. Darth is shot down -- wet 'em -- but survives. Joel Spacewalker uses the Forks and destroys the Deep Hurting Star by making fun of it. It blows up and everyone enjoys the fireworks and carnage. The Riff Rebellion celebrates. Everyone is happy; Joel Spacewalker is off to become a MSTie Knight. But it is not last time they heard from Darth Green Forrester.

"MSTie Wars: The Empire Femme Hits Back."

A long, long time ago in galaxy somewhere in time a space, a fight for humor is being fought. Joel Spacewalker is off to be trained to be a MSTie Knight by Mr. B. Natroda, a very wise, yet annoying man/woman while Princess Gypsa and Hans Miko flit and stuff. They kiss once, which Tom2Servo2 and Crow3PO see and think is gross, and Miko now has cooties. They go off to visit Cambot Serduhe. Meanwhile another, bigger Deep Hurting Star is being built. The Empress Pearl and mother of Darth Green Forrester stops by. She criticizes Darth Forrester for not destroying the Riff Rebellion and then goes to hang out with the Frank troopers. Meanwhile, thanks to another hole in the plot, Darth Forrester and Braina Gufet capture the entire MST3K gang except Joel who is off training. Hans Miko is frozen and given to Braina Gufet for Torgo the Hut.

Meanwhile, Joel Spacewalker goes off to save his friends. He is warned by Mr. B Natroda not to go toward the dark side of the Forks known as the Knife. Cambot Serduhe, thought to be traitor to the Riff Rebellion, has a change of heart and saves everyone. Meanwhile, Darth Forrester and Joel Spacewalker face off. Here's a snip of their very famous conversation...

Darth: Join me young Spacewalker and together we will rule the universe.
Joel: No.
Darth: Oh, come on. It'll be fun.
Joel: I said no.
Darth: You get nice pay, medial insurance including blue cross.
Joel: What part of no don't you understand?
Darth: Oh, fine. But before we fight I have to tell you something.
Joel: What is that?
Darth: I'm your father.
Joel: No you're not.
Darth: Yes I am.
Joel: No you are not.
Darth: Yes I am. How come you don't believe me?
Joel: Because I left my dad to become a MSTie Knight. Plus you're about same age as I am. Well maybe you're little older, by maybe 9 years, but it's still impossible.
Darth: Hey, I'm just 5 years older than you.
Joel: Well if that was true then you would have had to be 5 when had me and that would be disgusting. You don't want me to believe that you had me when you were 5 do you?
Darth: Fine, I'm not your father. I was trying to be dramatic, but you just ruined it.
Joel: Plus the fact I really doubt that you have ever been with a woman.
Darth: Listen, I said I wasn't. Lets just drop it.
Joel: Let alone even touch an actual woman.
Darth: I said drop it!
Joel: In fact I'm pretty sure the only woman you have ever been close to is your mother and she doesn't even love you.
Darth: Shut up!
Joel: Hey, you're the one who brought the whole thing up.

Anyways, Joel escapes and destroys the Deep Hurting Star again. Everyone is happy except for Darth Forrester and the Empress Pearl. Now the gang is off to save Hans Miko from Torgo the Hut.

"MSTie Wars: Return of the MSTie and that Package of Hamdingers."

A long, long time ago in galaxy somewhere in time a space, a fight for the funny is being waged. Princess Gypsa, Tom2Servo2, Crow3P0 and ChewBoboka go to save Hans Miko from Torgoba the Hut. Unfortunately, they are all caught and Gypsa is forced to wear a demeaning, yet sexy outfit. But Joel Spacewalker, after finishing his training to be a MSTie Knight, has achieved control of the Forks. So he leaves his trainer Mr. B Natroda, who is just mainly dancing around like an idiot, to go save his friends. Joel is also caught and taken to the Giant Gila Monster. But they all escape and destroy Torgo the Hut.

Meanwhile, Darth Green Forrester and Pearl the Empress make plans to wipe out the Riff Rebellion. Princess Gypsa finds out that Joel made her and is her father as well as that of Tom2Servo2 and Crow3P0. The gang gets help from friendly little Nanniekos, a group of cute, yet less annoying creatures than Gungans. Joel Spacewalker goes off to face his fate: a fight against Darth Forrester. They fight before the Empress. Here's a little dialog between them.

Darth: I will kill you!
Joel: Oh, yeah? You and what army?
Darth: The entire Frank trooper army.
Joel: Man, I wish I didn't ask.
Darth: That not the only thing you will wish, but now you are going to die!
Joel: Not If I can help it. Prepare to meet you match Darth Forrester.
Darth: Ah, I see master Mr. B Natroda has trained you well. But unfortunately, not well enough. Prepare to taste bittersweet death.
Empress: Oh, stop conversing with him and kill him, Clayton!
Darth: Shut up. I'm doing it, mother, I mean Empress.
Empress: Well you're not doing very good job of it. He's still live. And don't you ever call me mother again.
Darth: I'm sorry, Empress. And I'm doing it. Get off my back.

While Darth and the Empress talk about Joel, he cuts Darth with his light riff saver.

Darth: Ow. Now look what you made me do. He now cut me.

He looks at cut, which isn't very big.

Darth: I'm not supposed to get hurt. I'm a prince!
Empress: Oh, shut up. Man, can't you do anything right? Or do I have to do everything myself?
Darth: You shut up. I'm sick of you and your complaining.

Darth then accidentally stabs Empresses.

Empress: You killed me! Now are you happy? You just killed me.
Darth: Yes I am. I'm so happy that you'll be finally be out of my life.
Empress: Oh no you don't. If I'm going die, so are you.

She then stabs Darth.

Darth: Ow. That hurts.
Empress: Darth, I want you to know one thing: I never loved you.
Darth: Comedy is hard. Dying sucks.
Joel: Man, that was easy. Who knew facing your fate would be so simple, yet pointless.

Well, Joel destroys the Empire with the help of the MST3K gang. Everyone is happy and celebrates. The Nanniekos do a little dance and finally the Universe is safe for humor and freedom lovers. Thanks to brave folks who fought in the MSTie Wars! The End. What do you think, sirs? Write me at mre@cinci.infi.net.

"Sledgehammer/Forrester" by zapman@home.com

Hi there, fellow MSTies. You might remember me from such parodies as "One Weak Movie" and "You Can Call Me Paul." I've decided to finally speak out about my song parodies. Here this month is a Peter Gabriel hit, Sledgehammer, only starring a guy who wants to be a proper member of the Forrester clan. Enjoy.

You could have movie pain
If you'd send 'em Exeter and Brack
You could have an Satellite, flying
If you'd only Paint it Black

All you do is call us
We'll watch anything you need

You could have a big fat dip
Killing up and down, until the end
You could have an assistant, lumpy
The amusement would never be lent

I wanna be a Forrester
Why don't you call his name?
Oh let me be a Forrester
This'll be Deep Hurting's moaning

Show me 'round your Deep 13
'Cause I would be filled with glee
Open up the vault doors
Where the flicks are as bad as can be

I wanna be a Forrester
Why don't you call his name?
You'd better call the Forresters
Put evil on end
I'm gonna be -- a Forrester
This'll be Deep Hurting's moaning
I'm your Forrester
Let there be no doubt about it


I've kicked the habit
Shed my skin
This is the evil
I go madly in, we go madly in
Oh won't you riff for me
And I will riff for you
Yea, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do mean you
Only you
I've been coming through
Going to build that power
Build, build up that power, hey
I've been feeding the Demon Dogs
I've been feeding the Demon Dogs
Going to feel that insanity, build in me
Come on, come on, help me through
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you
I've been feeding the Demon Dogs
I've been feeding the Demon Dogs
It's what we're doing, doing
Push the Button, Frank.

"MSTable Movies" by RMichel424@aol.com

The Return of Tommy Tricker (1994)

Like the first one, this comes from Canada. Boy, I thought the first one was bad. This movie makes the first one seem like a film by Orson Wells. The acting is even worse in this one, with the same bad music. Since this was done six years after the first, they had to use a whole new cast, even though it picks up right where the last one ended. But there are major changes. Tommy is no longer fatherless like he was in the first one. His real father is still a bum; he has a stepfather, he no lives in a house as opposed to a small apartment, and more major plot holes than ever before.

At the end of the first movie the kids decided to release the boy, Charles Merriweather, whose stamps they were after loose after finding him on a stamp. But Tommy runs off with the stamp. This time Tommy has the lamest idea I have ever heard of. He plans, get this, to buy and island and make it a kid's kingdom and release Charles and turn the island into a big tourist attraction for stamp collectors. He and Cass travel on a stamp to a tropical island and wait for this floating post office/snack bar, called the banjo, to come along so they can try to talk the owner into mail the a letter with the stamp on it back to their tent so they can make their tourist attraction the owner refuses, so they head back to Canada. The banjo owner stops them and he realizes it was Tommy's true intent to sell the stamp for big bucks. Cass becomes a good guy and snatches the letter with the stamp on it and runs with it to Ralph's house where they release the traveler. But, it is not Charles as they thought, but is in fact his sister, Molly. Soon Molly starts to age drastically being that she should in her seventies, but the stamp held her frozen in time Tommy takes her and there is now revealed to be another form of magic travel. It involves throwing a dart at a large map. Tommy and Molly end up on a tropical island in the South Pacific and they meet a boy who takes them to a witch doctor. Tommy must go and retrieve a plant that looks a little bit like 'wacky weed'. As Tommy and the boy are taking the plan back he stops to trade stamps with a bunch of other collector who give him valuable stamps in Canada. He heads back to the Witch Doctor. Then he discovers he must sacrifice $2000 Canadian worth of stamps (or $1.50 American, just kidding) by placing them over her entire body. He denies having valuable stamps. Later he runs into Charles, who looks like the kid from the Dennis The Menace movie, and gives in and covers Molly's body with stamp along with Charles. Molly becomes young and is reunited with her brother. The witch doctor uses his boat to pull a small plane, discovered by Tommy as he, Molly, and the island boy were boating to get her cured, out of the water. Now if that isn't the biggest plot hole ever, I don't know what is. Tommy turns into a stamp and the movie is over, so we think. The credits roll as the entire cast sings a song.

Psychomania (1971)

This film comes from Britain. Leonard Maltin gives this film two-and-a-half stars. But of course we all know that is the same rating he gave "Laserblast". This is worse than "Deadly Bees" ever was.

The story centers on a biker gang all of which are supposed to be late teens, yet look like they are late twenties, in England called The Living Dead. The leader, Tom, discovers that his mother and the butler are immortals and discovers how to become immortal himself. The way this happens is you have to kill yourself and believe that you will come back. Then after your dead, a medallion of a sun with a frog on it, which looks like it was bought for less than a dollar in some Florida souvenir shop, is placed in your grave and you come back. Now you will live forever and cannot be harmed. Tom kills himself and comes back to life and kills several people. He incites the rest of his gang to kill themselves and all do except his girlfriend. The gang goes on a terror spree and the mother realizes her folly and breaks the vow that she held to stay immortal, thus turning into a frog and the biker gang is turned to stone before Tom can kill his girlfriend. The turning to stone process seems to take five or six minutes and boy does it drag. This movie is one big pieces of crap I have yet seen.

Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders (1996)

I was checking out the information on Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders on IMDB and it say that it was made in 1996, but I beg to differ. I'm willing to agree that maybe Borgnine and the grandson segments were made in 1996. But, it is obvious that the rest, or the story, was made around 1983-1985 for several reasons. BTW, the only person who has reviewed it says it still gives him chills after seeing it 5-6 times. He claims to be referring to the original. On a side note, did anyone else think this felt like a Tales from the Crypt for kids?
1. Michael is wearing clothes that were very common in the 80's.
2. At his party, his friends are playing with original Star Wars toys.
3. When he is watching TV he is wearing a Return of the Jedi t-shirt.
4. The cartoon he is watching is clearly one from the early 80's.
5. The cars are from the early 80's.
6. Michael rides a Big Wheel when he is almost hit, which cannot be easily found today. I think they may have gone out of business.
7. The furniture and carpet... I think you know where this is going.
8. Oh just watch it again and find more for yourself.

"Call Me Ishmael" by bobishmael@sciti.com


The clock rang precisely at 10 am every morning, just in time for me to watch Gypsy's Morning News on MSTBC. And so my day began...
I reached out for the "snooze" button on the Gizmonic-brand Alarm Clock and was immediately zapped by 120 volts of pure Gizmonic-brand electricity.
Why did I ever buy that damned thing? I thought to myself. I knew why I bought it, though. I bought the alarm clock because Gizmonic makes terrific products at affordable prices! Buy Gizmonic! (And Gizmonic is the only alarm clock manufacturer, but that's really beside the point.) As I rose, I slipped into my uniform Gizmonic-brand jumpsuit, which I've always liked. In fact, I think everyone likes the jumpsuits. How could you not? They save so much time and look so snazzy.
After I had slipped into my daily attire and taken care of the usual morning business, I turned on MSTBC; the All Mystery Science Theater Network... (Yes! Of course I realize that every channel airs Mystery Science Theater all the time, but this one just happens to be called the All Mystery Science Theater Network.)
"Yay! Richard Basehart!" Gypsy Robot Lee's (the famed robot who, in 1997, was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for making cold fusion a reality) voice blared from the television. Apparently, it was Richard Basehart's birthday. Which was odd because yesterday was his birthday... And the day before. No matter.
"Richard Basehart!" Gypsy's voice continued. I turn the volume down, slightly, and glanced at my Gizmonic-brand calendar.
Hmm. Not much to do today other than work. I thought.
Now, I work at the local Gizmonic MSTheater as an usher. In case you didn't know, I'm very lucky to have this job. When Gizmonics realized they had created a masterpiece with Mystery Science Theater 3000, they opened up MSTheaters all throughout the nation and drafted a few lucky individuals to staff them.
As an usher I'm responsible for keeping mediocrity out of the riffs, which isn't very hard at all... In a world full of MSTies, mediocrity isn't exactly a problem.
As I headed out of my Gizmonic-brand house and stepped out onto my Gizmonic-brand walkway, I noticed how crisp the air was. Why the air, it takes me back... Like a time machine to the days of... Oh, sorry. Where was I?
I thought to myself that today was going to be a good day. But, of course, every day was a good day. A great day, I daresay. I hopped into my Gizmonic- brand, Windowmaker-style, VW Transporter and began my short trek to my place of employment.
The line at the MSTheater was long, as usual, but always seemed to move fast. I pulled my Windowmaker to the nearest parking space, right beside another Widowmaker, and killed the engine.
The day proceeded without incident right up until lunch...
As I looked through our snack bar's menu or Hamdingers and Unhappy Meals, I realized that I should have brought a sack lunch. No matter. Today was a great day, anyway.
Suddenly, everyone went silent with what seemed to be awe. I turned around.
"H-mm-man-ha," I stuttered. It was Crow T. Robot, esq., famed Robot Television Executive!
"Hey, you! Valet-boy!" he shouted to, apparently, someone behind me. He began walking toward me.
"Pink-boy! Shouldn't you be a valet, instead of staring at the wall?" He waved his claw in front of my face.
"Wha? Oh. I'm sorry, sir. I'm not a va..." I began.
"Good. Here are my keys," he said and walked off toward the theater room.
So... There I was. Wearing my Gizmonic jumpsuit, as an usher to a theater of MSTies, about to park the famed Crow T. Robot's Ferrari when...


"Huh..." I sputtered and reach for the snooze button. No electricity!
"No! It was all dream!" I shouted, "Why?! Why, cruel world?!"
I sat down on the well-worn carpet and began pondering the perfect world that I lost, all the while muttering, "Why?"

"Better 'Bots and Satellites" by bgibron@yahoo.com

Vol. 2, Issue 2
A Call to Qualms: In Cyberspace, No One Can Hear You Skim...

My name is Bill Gibron and I am a Crowoholic. Yes, I accept it. I used to hang my head in shame, thinking that I was the only one so cursed. Feeling the eyes on me, the judgmental, piercing gaze of the non-MSTie. Knowing that, as I lost control and began to quip over the newscast, or fashion crudely appointed "inventions" to "exchange" with loved ones, my addiction, my longing, my uncontrollable physical desire was as visible on my brow as the goiter under Ernest Borgnine's sweater vest. When it comes to MST, I show no control and can often be found muttering the theme lyrics to myself at inappropriate moments. I crave Servo, finding jocularity and personal satisfaction in even the most remotely sound or spelling-alike words; service, turbo, sucre, fertile, turtle. I page through issue after dampened issue of "Tiger Beat" and "Non-Threatening Puppet Show Host" looking for that perfect picture of Mike, or the truth behind what Joel Hodgson really thinks about when he dreams. I might as well face it; I am addicted to the Satellite of Love.
But they have taken it from me. Removed it from my sight and yanked it from my life like a production value in a Roger Corman film. The dastards! The heartless corporate shills! The juvenile programming peons for whom the daily grind of life consists of dates with underage and weight supermodels, endless cups of decaffeinated goat's milk latte's and visits from people with too many vowels in their names claiming that they can communicate with long dead clams in the sand bars of Atlantis. It is inconceivable that decisions, like when their rancid adult diapers should be changed, are left up to them, let alone life and death dilemmas like what show stays on the air and what abomination get an all day long drone of a "chain reaction". Here I am, sweating profusely and needing another fix of Magic Voice and...
And this is where this all stops. The Sundays stated so aptly, "Here's where the story ends."
These tirades are never very easy to write. And they are obviously impossible to read, given the utter lack of email feedback I have received in the 14 months I have written columns for the "Post". I tried to be clever. I tried to be insightful. And I tried to be funny. So what, you may be asking yourself. Why should I care? This guy basically sounds like an egotistical blowhard that relishes in his own obtuse pop culture, name-dropping cross- references the way Chen Kenichi delights in a well-marbled pork belly. "Better 'Bots and Satellites" was meant to entertain, to provide joy and laughter when so much of the world seems sullen and depressed. I hoped that after a "Post" came screaming across your server, and you read the latest "BB&S", you would be compelled to e-mail me with all manner of praise/personal attacks/death threats/requests for autographs.
Instead, in the last year+, I have heard nothing from no one. Such under- whelming fan support seems laughable. Ever wonder why MST went off the air? Eight months ago, we were incensed. We were called to combat and like good little club foot soldiers we loaded up our rusted and bruised Comedy Central armor and charged into the heat of prattle once again. Some of us gave to the Variety ad. Still others gathered signatures on petitions. But what was it all for? Why did we do it? The old saying goes that life should pass from a whisper to a scream. In the case of MST and the fan attempts to save it, there has been some inept, non-wrestling oriented reversal. We went from shouting so loud and so long at the beginning of the war that by the time Pearl chuckled at Bobo in the final moments of episode 1003, the collective ennui that emulated from show supporters seemed bewildering. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't a campaign to save a show supposed to have action as part of its modus operandi? All I can see are the same, overdue for an update 3 months ago, web sites that claim to be leading the charge of the laugh brigade, when all their hosts are really doing is trying to crack the password codes to Voyeur Dorm.Com.
I can hear you all now. This rant is nothing more than a cover for the fact that he has no more article ideas. He has exhausted his encyclopedia of obscure 60's, 70's and 80's material and this is nothing more than the fetid gasps of a defeated mind. In reality, you are all insane. I had and have several ideas for this column. London Crawling, a look at Britain's so-called vision of horror. Who Loves Short Shorts, a walk through the fertile fields of MST best loved mini-featurettes. SOL Dance Party Part 2, Electric Boogaloo, featuring Shabadoo Shrimp and the band that sang California Lady. P.E.T.H.A. - Performers for the Entertaining Taunts of Horror Animals. I could sit hear all night and day and come up with a hundred variations on the MSTheme, much like the famous 3 B's of Classical music; Beethoven, Bach and Boston. That is how much I love MST. That is how much it is a part of my life.
So what? you are saying again. What is your point? How many more times do I have to read names like juicy J.P Morgan and Bennett Cerf and wonder just what in the world this loon is on about? Well, "BB&S" is having a little controversion and you are invited. Between this issue and October 8th, I want MSTAnon members out their in CD-ROM land to send me an email answering the following three questions:
1. I think that Better 'Bots and Satellites is...?
2. I think the next article in BB&S should be about...?
3. You should mention ____________ in your next article?
It's as simple as that. My e-mail is bgibron@yahoo.com. The best 5 answers will be published in the next column, with the winning suggestion being the featured topic for the article, and with as many of the answers to question #3 incorporated within as possible. Call me crazy. Call me deranged. Call me desperate to get some interaction with my readers. (I assume there are SOME readers out there. I did ask for someone to help me obtain a copy of 815 Agent for H.A.R.M. and I have, so far, as many responses as Ted Mickels got requests for a sequel to "Girl in The Gold Boots". I WAS SERIOUS!)
For those long-standing members, please, remember that I have covered certain topics in these pages. If you really think 422 Day the Earth Froze would make a great article, then you suffer from an attention span so short and spastic that no amount of Ritalin can cure it. For new members, I will cut you some slack and only ridicule you mentally, instead of physically and verbally, for your outdated and misdirected ideas. And for those of you out there who fancy yourself a tad more clever than I, all I can say is it's time to put up or shut up. I will put the smack down. Or pick the smack up and put the crack down. I may be befuddled, but I will not be befeated. Or is that defudddled but not defeated. Something along those lines. And if by chance, no one responds, then I intend to call you all to the carpet, pull up the nap, and make you pay for your lack of commitment. That's it. Nothing more until I hear from you. Go back. Answer the 3 questions. bgibron@yahoo.com. Do it today. You'll be glad you did. As for my so-called addiction, I kicked the habit a while back. It involved organic methadone, a series of Gulden's hot mustard plasters, and endless hours of "Match Game P.M."

September MSTie of the Month: mistiegrrl@hotmail.com

Name: Daettia Marie Butler
Handles: FemmeCrow, MSTia, MistieGrrl
Website: The MiSTic Domain (http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Set/8673) and the New Message Board of Love (http://www.insidetheweb.com/mbs.cgi/mb349457)
Home: Well, I was born in Hagertown, MD, which is still trying to become a city... I'm sure it will someday, probably around the year 2525, if man is still alive. But I've lived in this little backwater country redneck town called Clear Spring for the past ten years, and it's starting to effect me... I want to get me one of those big ol' pickup trucks with four-wheel drive and go off-roading just for the heck of it.
MSTie History: I'm still relatively a newbie. I didn't even watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 until it came on the Sci-Fi Channel (jerks) even though I'd heard of it before. The main reason may have been my lack of cable. :-) Anywho, my first ep was 801 Revenge of the Creature (which I now own - Woo- hoo!), and I've been hooked ever since (even though the Sci-Fi Channel canceled the show -- morons).
Proudest MSTie Moment: I've actually got two. The first one is that I've managed to convince one of my friends -- my best bud Jon -- of the true value of a world where it's perfectly fine to make fun of some of the crap Hollywood comes up with. I completely convinced him of this when I talked him into renting MST3K: The Movie and giving it a chance. And I'm proud to say that he can now riff with the best of them. My other proudest moment was when I took the plunge and began to write my very own MSTings; some of my friends have been super supportive of me in this endeavor and have even given me the go- ahead to riff their works. Thanks, crew!

October MST3K Schedule on SFC

North America
{All times are Eastern and tentative}
10/02/99 - 9:00 am - [901] Projected Man
10/09/99 - 9:00 am - [902] Phantom Planet
10/16/99 - 9:00 am - [903] Pumaman
10/23/99 - 9:00 am - [905] Deadly Bees
10/30/99 - 9:00 am - [904] Werewolf

Classifieds 3000

MatthewDR@aol.com writes: "Hey, all you tape traders! Come on down to teenMSTie's MST3K Tape Collection for all your trading needs. I have well over 115 episodes available for trade or sale at the low, low price of only $6 per tape. The lowest I've seen. So whether you're a new trader just starting your collection or a seasoned trader wishing to fill a few holes in your already large collection, come on down to teenMSTie's MST3K Tape Collection. You'll be glad you did. http://members.aol.com/MatthewDR/tapes.html"

mstanon@msties.com writes: "Following in the grand tradition of selling off surplus stuff to raise funds, I am following the example of the SOL Base and auctioning off a Carousel Snack Dispenser to help pay for the domain name fees and the trivia contest prizes. So if you're toying with the idea of building Tom Servo, make this toy your first step! START SERVO. SUPPORT MSTANON. http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=165181256"


All material written by club members in this publication does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the staff of MSTies Anonymous. Endorsement of above publicized activities not operated by MSTies Anonymous should not be implied. Published material is subject to editing only for spelling, grammar, clarity, and formatting; other changes are not made without express written consent of the author.

Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright 1999 Best Brains, Inc. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by Best Brains, the Sci-Fi Channel, or their employees. "Gizmonics" and all related elements are copyright and trademark Joel Hodgson. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by him, so please do not sue us.

© MCMXCIX MSTies Anonymous
The Poobah
Jet Jaguar kret0419@blue.UnivNorthCo.edu
Zen Psycho zenpsycho@yahoo.com

"Have you seen my monkey?"

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