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SOL Post 25 09/15/98
SOL Post 24 08/15/98
SOL Post 23 07/15/98



S.O.L. POST


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Volume 24 - http://www.mindspring.com/~mstanon/ - August 1998
Formerly The MSTies Anonymous Newsletter: News for the Obscure Convergence
==========================================================================


SECOND ANNUAL MST SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER REVIEW!


In This Issue


From the Associate Editor
"A Simple Survey" by MrNelson007@hotmail.com
"Servo’s World" by solbase@solbase.com
"Should the Brains Create a New Series? Sure!" by garonma@email.uc.edu
"Jenny for Your Thoughts" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu
"MstrMental’s Views and Observations" by DctrMental@aol.com
"Better 'Bots and Satellites" by bgibron@yahoo.com
"MSTable Movies" By RMichel424@aol.com
August MSTie of the Month: MrNelson007@hotmail.com
MST3K Trivia Winners
September MST3K Schedule on SFC
Classifieds 3000
Disclaimers



From the Associate Editor


Hi, everybody!
"Hi, Dr. Nick!"
Seriously, hello. I’m Andrew Foltz and I’ll be your editor for this evening. Sit down. Pull up a chair. Here is your menu. Now then, what would you like? What’s that you say? This month’s edition of the SOL Post? A FINE choice. A feast for your eyes. Enjoy. Your bill will be here shortly.



"A Simple Survey" by MrNelson007@hotmail.com


This really isn’t a survey, since it only has three questions, but who cares?
Answer these three questions via e-mail to MrNelson007@hotmail.com. and in a month or two, I’ll post the results in the SOL Post.

  1. What was the first episode of MST3K you saw?
  2. What was your favorite episode of MST3K?
  3. What was your least favorite episode of MST3K?

There you go. Answer these questions. It’ll make you feel good, I promise.



"Servo's World" by solbase@solbase.com


I [hate] love those nice little booklets I get in the junk mail box all the time. You know what I mean... "Things You Never Knew Existed Because You Never Wanted To Pay Attention To Those Things Because You Knew You Would Be Wasting Your Time and Money Buying It." Ring a bell? Good. So here's MY OWN catalog of overpriced sh-- stuff for you to buy. To purchase any of this material, yell at your computer and sulk, and hope it never comes out. Or, just dial the numbers 9-1-1 and then scream and yell into the phone, "Emergency! Emergency!" And then hang up the phone. Oh yeah, and if you see a white car drive up to your house with flashing lights, don't worry... it's our delivery service.
NOTE: THIS IS NOT REAL MERCHANDISE, PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO BUY ANYTHING OR SEND ME MONEY!!!


LIFE-SIZED NANITE
Fully functional, full-sized Nanite figures. Nanite can repair your space- ship or do your hair... at the same time! Great workers, even though it takes trillions of them to fill a fraction of a proton. $2.99 per Nanite.


"OFFICIAL" THINGS DELUXE SET
"Official" things delivered right to YOU, direct from Best Brains, Inc. and Satellite News. The Deluxe Set includes lots of "official" things, such as a scrap of paper with the works "Best branes" scribbled on it! It's even spelled wrong! What could be better than something you could make at home in less than 30 seconds for fewer than 5 cents! $29.99 per deluxe set.


ENERGY PARK RIPOFF CONTEST TICKETS
Energy Park, providing a safe place for energy to play. This week at Energy Park: Mugalhorn demonstrations and magic by the amazing RANDO! $49.99 per ticket... kid's price. Call for adult's price.


MST: A VIDEO
Now available: Videos available for purchase at double the retail price! But there's good reason for it, as always. This reason: Because this video is MST-compatible! That's right, folks! Just sit in front of the TV/VCR (or DVD player) and make fun of it. Easy as pie! Price is twice the retail value of the video you are purchasing.


TOM SERVO DECORATOR CAKE
Speaking of pie, why don't you buy a giant cake!!! (WHAT?!) That's right, a giant cake. How about one with white? How about white and a big fat, juicy picture of ME!!! Going, going, sold! I mean gone! Speaking of gone, get outta here! And buy a cake! $99.99 per cake or the highest bid. (Bidding starts at $100).



"Should the Brains Create a New Series? Sure!" by garonma@email.uc.edu


Hello...


Servo65's article in the last edition of the SOL Post made me wonder if he/she thinks that MST3K is written, produced, and performed solely for his/her benefit. Why shouldn't the Brains try to develop a new show?
Sure it'll limit this season's episodes to only 13, but after doing a little more than half they've created some memorable episodes like "Werewolf" and "Puma Man." Those were some of the best ones I've ever seen and I've watched diligently since Season 3. To me, it just proves that their talents need expanding. That's why Joel left the show after spending 6 years on it and Frank and Trace 7 and 8 respectively. That's quite a commitment for an artist and entertainer.
Over the years the show has just gotten better as they developed the characters' personalities and their own artistic skills. Let's also not forget how difficult an endeavor it must be to churn out 22-24 hour-and-a-half-long episodes. That leaves a lot of room to create a couple clunkers. A lot of it has to deal with the idiocy of the movie being riffed on.
Oh yeah, personally I think the worst season ever was Season 7 when they were cancelled after being commissioned for a big 6 whole episodes. Being cancelled was just a bad move on Comedy Central's part anyway but I'm sure that didn't help morale at Best Brains all that much.
Looking forward to the new show.
Love...
Mitchell



"Jenny for Your Thoughts" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu


Well, one my MST3K fantasies came true. People actually responded to one of the questions I posted. So I decided to share with you what they shared me.


From: "Kelly JediSlider"
To be on the show or write for it. Great minds think alike, especially when it comes to wanting to be on MST3K. :) I wouldn't mind spending hours watching horrible movies, and I'd love to be able to kick back with Mike, Bill, Bridget, and the rest and make fun of 'em.
As for being on the show, mine was similar to yours. I'd be Mike's cousin. As Pearl said, her family has been torturing people with horrible books, etc., for awhile. I'd come wielding a sword to defend the honor of the Nelson line who had been subject to experiments by Pearl's family for a long time, and I would also want to know what her son did to my favorite cousin, Mike. Like a Nelson, I'd mess up. :) When I saw her talking to Mike and the 'Bots, I'd be amazed, and Brain Guy would send me up there. I'd be so happy to see Mike. Servo and Crow would be amazed to see a semi-normal human female there, but of course, I AM related to Mike, making them a bit wary. I would get along wonderfully with Crow and Mike and Gypsy and go into the theater with them. But when it was just me and Servo, well, I'd try to destroy him, and the others wouldn't believe a I'd do a thing like that. >:) I'd be around for another episode, before being sent back to Earth. Whew.


There was also Gizmonics@juno.com who wrote:

  1. I would write for BBI.
  2. I would illustrate the "dumped" MST3K comic book.
  3. I would work on an MST3K animated TV series.
  4. I would have my name in the credits of an MST3K episode.

Well, I hope you enjoyed reading those and I hope more people in the future respond to questions I post.


ROWSDOWER! Rowsdower! Rowsdower. Man, I liked this episode and one of the reasons was Rowsdower. I mean, the kid was okay and the old geezer was cool, but Rowsdower made the movie for me. But I was disappointed that a very important question was not answered. If the gang on SOL had a cult, what would it be like, what would the drawbacks be and whom would it be perfect for? So I'm here to ponder and answer what everyone's cult would be like.
Gypsy: Richard Basehart would be worshipped of course. You would have to know how to run higher functions of spaceships and like one-woman shows. Drawbacks: Well like Gypsy herself this cult would be very busy with other things and wouldn't get as much attention as the other 'Bots' cults. Perfect for those busy people who want to be part of a cult but don't want the cult to conflict with their schedules.
Crow: Kim Cattrall and Patrick Swayze (From Roadhouse) would be worshipped. You would have known how to produce a spec script and love all of Crow's. Some taunting of Tom would be necessary. And of course Crow would decide who lives and who dies. Drawbacks: Well Crow is not the most organized robot in the world so cult meetings would be sporadic. Also Crow has a tendency to think he is something else (first he was gnome, then a Bellarian, then a witch, then a frog) so the cult would also change. Perfect for teenagers that are trying to find themselves.
Tom: You have to know how to sing, have knowledge, and think that Tom is the greatest in the world. Expect a lot of praising of Tom. Tom would have mostly women in his cult. Also I think you would have to get Tom tattooed somewhere on your body. (Why I think this I don't know.) Drawbacks: We'll clean up Tom's room. Perfect for any Tom Servo fans and anyone who likes to sing a lot.
Mike: Well a like of theater and Shakespeare would be necessary. Anyone from the Midwest or Wisconsin would be in. No IQ test needed. Drawbacks: Well female members would be pretty much preoccupied with worshipping Mike so any other guys would pretty lonely. Perfect for the female worshipping MSTie that loves Mike.
Finally, my cult. Worshipping MST3K, of course. Anyone who knows how give good foot massages and back rubs would be in. Also anyone who likes to party. Drawbacks: Slight hatred of Comedy Central. I know MST3K is on a new network and I should leave it in the past, but I still hurt a little. I mean, the emotional scar that was created when they cancelled MST3K still runs deep. I still never watch that network! Sorry for ranting. I really need a hug now.
Well, got to go.



"MstrMental's Views and Observations" by DctrMental@aol.com


To the author of "The Poison Pen" by gherity@tcfreenet.org: Gee I wonder who that is. You are not a MSTie to let Mike and the 'Bots hate from pain towards Japan affect you. Did you watch the recent one about Canada? Do they hate Canadians now? It is so easy to generalize and call Americans the root of all evil, so if you can do it, why can't Mike and the 'Bots, huh? Also, it is not like they put any study into getting mad at the Japanese, they have seen more than 20 bad Japanese dubbed films, and got fed up! They don't have proof in a laboratory somewhere... In other words it is just a show and you should really just relax, and also NO ONE CARES BUT YOU, BECAUSE YOU TAKE IT WAY OUT OF CONTEXT! IT WAS NEVER INTENDED TO COME OUT THAT WAY!
To the author of "Should the Brains Create a New Series?" by servo65@hotmail.com: First off, have you noticed that Joel LEFT? He will not be in the process of writing their new show and also the creative talents of the current Best Brains aren't solely based on Joel. HE QUIT in the 5th Season, and it is now the 9th. They are not him. Aside from that however, have you ever seen the KTMA melon drops? Kevin Murphy was hilarious in those, plus Jim Mallon helped him. They have been at this for a long time, and they are extremely funny. Once again, they are not Joel. MST3K isn't going to last forever, and the Sci-Fi Channel and BBI are planning ahead. You cannot generalize and say that something that JOEL made went bad, in YOUR opinion, and that Season 8 was bad in YOUR opinion and say that whatever the Brains create will be crud.
To the author of "A Farewell Tribute to MST3K..." by gizmonics@juno.com: That is not that great of an idea, I mean Joel landed in the Australian Outback, and it's not like he could ever be vindictive... So I think you just plot convenience playhoused yourself into letting him be the judge. I actually came up with a good episode once, because I put a little thought, logic, and continuity into it. Maybe you should try doing the same. I mean if the movie stinks just don't write it, but I digress.
To the author of "Adam's Views and Observations" by bozarth@adams.net, who also happens to be the MSTie of the Month: OK, the reason he didn't take everything else with him is for 2 reasons. First off he still makes money off of every show that they do, because he is the creator and if he cancelled the show, he still wouldn't make money, and second, HE wanted to leave the show. He didn't want to kill the show. If he killed the show that would be wrong, but he kept Gizmonics, 'cause he figured he could get some good use out of the name and it wouldn't change the show much! SO what if she had a white streak. She really isn't his mother, she was married into the family, and Dr. Clay is illegitimate, so don't get your hopes up!



"Better 'Bots and Satellites" by bgibron@yahoo.com


Volume 1 - Issue 1
Sucking in the Seventies: Why it's Immoral to Shine Your Love!


What is it with nostalgia? Why do we watch the years pass by, only to leap out and attempt to recapture them? A wise man once said that those who have not learned from the past are doomed to repeat it. Judging by the recent revival of the horrid and somewhat torrid 1970's, the world is in need of a special class for the educationally disabled.
From the hideous flair trousers and ice blue eye shadow, to the odious desire to watch Happy Days or Billy Jack Goes to Washington, society has regressed to the point where it actually believes that Studio 54 was a good idea.
So, it is up to Better 'Bots & Satellites to set the record straight, to expose this seamy little decade for the poseur that it was. To peel back the fleshy skin and, with the help of the gang at Mystery Science Theater 3000 and episode 622 Angels' Revenge, reveal the 70's (and so very, very, very much more... hehehe) as the rotten tater-tot at the bottom of the school hot lunch.
Our film starts off innocuously enough with a teenager beating up a drug dealer, and visa versa. The teenager's buxom teacher contacts the teenager's buxom singer/sister, and they form a pack to rid the world of drugs. Their master plan is to create an elite death squad of hot babes. They recruit a buxom model, a buxom martial arts instructor, a buxom stunt woman and a cop. Together, they construct a super cool van filled with weaponry, and proceed to combat the drug trade, white supremacists, and split ends. By the end of the film, it is made very clear that the main reason the current war on drugs has been so unsuccessful is because our DEA officers are not clad in thigh high go-go boots and skintight spandex jumpsuits.
And it is within this backdrop that the true story of the 70's is told. As crazy as it seems, the post-60's era was not this rockin' time, filled with Boston and bongwater, Styx (both space food and musical) and Stones (both Rolling and Merritt). Indeed, I think C.W. McCall summed it up best when he said "We've got a great big convoy, rocking' through the night, we've got a big old convoy, ain't she a beautiful sight." ...Or maybe he didn't sum it up best. After all, the 70's obsession with the CB radio is still as big a mystery as who really shot JFK, or the career of Emo Phillips. By adding such linguistic marvels to the language as "good buddy" and "clean and green" (by the way, how can something be both clean AND green?), the CB revolution managed to damage us all.
In Angels' Revenge, we learn that the 70's were a disturbing time, filled with crime lords, drug deals and Jack Palance. (Apparently every decade is meant to be cursed by Jack... must be some sort of Sodom and Gomorrah style payback from God.) We stare into the seamy underbelly of survivalist groups, the entertainment industry and Alan Hale, Jr. Disco music (?!) reigned supreme, with shining one's love matching lyrical wit mano y mano with letting one's robin fly and reconfiguring one's beat (into the 'around' position). Thanks to the Angels, the TRUE façade of the 70's is uncovered and its foul, made-for-TV stench is unleashed. From their kinky, feathery hairdos to their plunging breasts and necklines, the Angels present a cogent argument against recreating the Me Decade in the last hours before the Millennium.
After the peace and love of the 1960's, evil began to rear its misshapen head. This was mostly in the form of Vietnam, John Mitchell and the Hair Bear Bunch. But the Angels find even more examples of depravity right in their own backyard. Like Pat Buttram. Only Nostradamus could have predicted that this slobbering hillbilly would EVER be considered funny. It is truly a sad state of affairs when Jeff Foxworthy owes you royalties for his very existence and Jerry Clower finds you too lowbrow. I guess that when you act alongside the likes of Eva Gabor and a guy named Ebb, the Marat Sade seems hilarious. Not only is Pat out of step with the times, what with his barnyard clichés and agricultural double entendrés, but he proves conclusively that a disgruntled decade such as the 70's cannot be summed up with a bolo tie. When the Gates of Hell are opened, Mr. Haney will be right there, selling Solarcane.
The same must be said for Jim Backus. The fact that he is dressed like a reject from Garfield Goose and Friends, as well as his tendencies toward pasty pancake face makeup (light years before a certain M. Jackson) and white supremacy make him a poor 70's role model. Sure, he was Mr. Magoo and Mr. Howell, but when your idea of a fashionable look is to have lips redder than Spinner of Clutch Cargo fame, you are obviously spending far too many nights in a pentagram whispering to the Dark One. His kind of evil is the worst kind: the stuttering, drooly kind.
Yet, some of the biggest offenders portray the 70's as accurately as humanly possible. That is, as human as Jack Palance and Peter Lawford can be. These are men for whom the 70's are instinctual. Search down among their many billions of DNA strands and you will find that to these guys, booze is food, women are furniture, and BO is a compliment. Jack personally benefited from the wide lapels and shiny metals in the clothing of the era. They helped to de-emphasize the cracks in his face. Peter on the other hand, learned the primary rule of 70's fashion, i.e., that chest hair was a crucial accessory. Whether functioning as shirt, vest or cozy place to hide those crumbs, a blossoming bosom of man-fur truly defined a generation (and repulsed a nation).
The Angels' exposé does not stop there. They confirm the sordid truth that, in the post-feminist world of the 1970's, supportive undergarments were a no- no (unless you were Jack Palance on which they were a please-please). One always let the natural objects presented to you by the Good Lord swing wild and free in the breeze until they finally pointed toward the Devil himself. Outfits were worn to accentuate and reveal them. They WERE NOT, under any circumstances, to hidden or suppressed. And hair... one's hair had to develop a mindset and street address of its own. It needed to be wild and flyaway and curly and swervy and kinked and rolling stoned until it resembled a sort of prehistoric wildebeest. Apparently, the ability to shine one's love lied in direct correlation to how closely one's coiffeur resembled the hinder of a turkey.
A souped-up van was also a must. Be it a Chevy van (and that's all right with me) or a bonafide Mystery Machine, it wasn't enough to have four tires and an engine. A true mobile love cruiser had to have quadraphonic stereo; a mini-bar that dispensed Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill by the gross and the undulating slosh of a fur-covered waterbed. The Angels make it very clear that, next to a tan line, one needed the proper vehicle for the proper job. Wanted to get to first base? Then a plush avocado green carpet and black light posters of Burton Cummings were a must. Wanted to win your first drug war? Then a gun turret and bazooka came in very handy.
And don't be mislead, our heroines are definitely experts in this field. They all look like they spent the better part of the Jerry Reed decade resting in the back of Derek's Dream Weaver-Mobile on a microbe-sized circular love pillow listening to Kansas 'carry on' their 'wayward son', through a Marantz stereo with separate graphic equalizer. The one true vehicular misstep those buxom beauties made was what many a 70's machine head would describe as Frank Frazetta Failure. NOWHERE in either design or execution, were overly muscled men, whose IQ's fall somewhere below golf cart on the biological scale, depicted brandishing swords and groping topless Amazon babes, while sweating and glistening in a landscape that pre-dated Dungeons and Dragons. All of this would have been emblazoned on the side panel, with only a spade-shaped smoke glass window marring the scene. If only they had included that in their tactical design... one look and Jim Backus would have run home to Lovey.
There are some other things to remember about the Watergate era, as depicted in Angels' Revenge...
...Small kids, if hopped up on goofballs, can easily beat up wimpy, gold- chained drug dealers. ...A successful model needs looks, fashion sense and a full knowledge of the trampoline. ...It is apparently easy, necessary, pleasurable, mandatory, hypnotic and restful to the elderly and has-been alike to shine one's love. ...The easiest way to become a member of an exclusive, elite, all female corp. of vigilantes is to be grazed by a bullet and faint. ...Cops have access to home perm kits, but do not know how to use them. ...A gunshot to the arm will KILL an evil, maniacal drug dealer, as long as he is standing by a swimming pool, and was once snubbed by Frank Sinatra. ...Individuals who believe in the supremacy of the white race and the vulgarity of foreigners like spaghetti and meatballs. ...Random acts of violence, vigilantism and mayhem go unpunished if you are stacked.
...Finally, Arthur Godfrey was indeed famous, and it was not for the way he could dance or leer at a woman's chest.
If after all of this you are still pining away for a Tony DeFranco and The DeFranco Family reunion tour, then drastic measures are in order. Just remember Buttram's oily come-ons, Backus' racist clueless-ness, Palance's stutter-step near run and Lawford's artist ability and if you're not high tailing it to New Wave and Gordon Gecko, then you are destined to weep whenever Billy Mumy starts to sing in Sunshine Christmas. Joey Ramone once opined "its the end, the end of the 70's, its the end, the end of the century" and now it seems that these simple statements of rock rebellion were instead the shape of things to come.
So, throw away your mood rings! Cover up that follicle forest on your chest. Leave gold to the mouths of rappers. Abandon thoughts of polyesters and other blends. Renounce Sherwood Schwartz! Reacquaint yourself with the brassiere. Reject the Starland Vocal Band in all its hideous forms. AND DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, SHINE YOUR LOVE. Just polish it a little. You'll be a happier and very 90's individual.



"MSTable Movies" by RMichel424@aol.com


Time once again for my MST3K worthy film picks.


DNA (1997)
Here is an extremely bad film. It steals plot ideas from Rambo, Predator, Aliens, and Jurassic Park to name a few. A military man comes to a doctor who works in Borneo as a Good Samaritan. He knows of a bug that was encased in amber (remember Jurassic Park, kiddies?) that can cure lots of diseases. The military man points out the mistake in the formula to get the guy to join him and find specimens. The military guy turns on the doctor and shoots him. The doctor lives, don't worry. The military man has an expedition that finds a skeleton of an alien. Two years or so pass. Many bodies have turned up torn to shreds in Borneo. Just like in Jurassic Park, the military man uses DNA cloning to recreate an alien. A female CIA operative comes to town to enlist the aid of the doctor to guide her to blow up the bad guy's base. The doctor and his young friend Matzu (Remember Short Round from Temple of Doom anyone?), who I call Mozzarella, sneak into the base. This alien has cloaking technology like the Predator and looks like the aliens from Aliens. The doctor looks vaguely like Lau Kang from Mortal Kombat. The CIA operative and doctor end up fighting this monster. Also Matzu spends some time lost in the sewer, just like Newt from Aliens. This movie is a direct to video film.


Indian in the Cupboard (1995)
Some people think this is a good kid's movie. I watched it on HBO and laughed my butt off making fun of this film. Boy receives cupboard and plastic Indian on his birthday. Boy puts Indian in cupboard and locks it. Indian comes alive. Adventure ensues. I found the perfect stinger for this film. Omri, the kid is mugged by a boy a little bit older than he is. As the older boy walks off the only insult Omri can come up with is, "You don't even deserve that hair!" Please explain that to me. It makes no sense. Does it make sense to you? They should also watch the film purely for that clip to be a stinger. It kills me every time I read or hear that line.



August MSTie Of the Month: MrNelson007@hotmail.com


Huzzah! My name is Andrew Foltz, but my nickname here is bfoltz. (I hate the name bfoltz. It's my mom's name, not mine. I demand justice, my own e-mail address, and a Ho-Ho!) I'm the new co-editor here. Anyway, I live in Ohio and I am a new fan to the show. I first saw it on the Sci-Fi Channel and have seen all of the Sci-Fi Channel episodes, and have been collecting old Comedy Central episodes. However, I can remember a long time ago, back in Season Three, when my parents were watching a show where these three strange silhouettes were making fun of a movie called "Pod People." (Sigh. I was so young and foolish then. I had no idea that I was watching the greatest show on television. Hand me my hankie... Thank you. (Blowing nose.)) I have a hobby of riffing movies, as well as making MSTings.
I enjoy, in no particular order: MST3K, Duke Nukem 3D, Tomb Raider, The X- Files, South Park, Star Trek, Star Wars, The Simpsons, Seinfeld, Gary Paulsen books, and reading.
I have my own web page, located at http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Studio/6817 where I keep my MSTings, among other things.
That's all there is about me. Until next time, friends!
Oh, one more thing: If you were offended by what I wrote, then you can just bite me!



MST3K Trivia Winners


Just as luck would have it, the password system went down just as final responses got underway. Therefore, I have no choice but to extend the final round until all eligible responses are in or the end of the month... whichever comes first. Look for the winner in next month's SOL Post. Anyway, we have a couple of new trivia winners. Here we go!


#42 was answered by Matt the Nanite just after the last issue. Dr. Clayton Forrester was named after a character in the movie version of "War of the Worlds." Thanks, Crowthers.
#46 got answered by... guess who? Yes, it was Atog554 who knew that Pearl looked to Maltin for the worst movie ever made. Bozarth's question went fast.
#47 is fresh on the site.
#48 also just got posted. Enjoy!



September MST3K Schedule on SFC


{All times are Eastern and tentative}
Date Time ### Episode
9/05 5:00 pm 807 Terror from the Year 5000
9/05 11:00 pm 807 Terror from the Year 5000
9/12 5:00 pm 808 She Creature
9/12 11:00 pm 808 She Creature
9/19 5:00 pm 815 Agent for H.A.R.M.
9/19 11:00 pm 815 Agent for H.A.R.M.
9/26 5:00 pm 913 Quest of the Delta Knights
9/26 11:00 pm 913 Quest of the Delta Knights



Classifieds 3000


[This space for rent. Free.]



Disclaimers


All material written by club members in this publication does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the staff of MSTies Anonymous. Endorsement of above publicized activities not operated by MSTies Anonymous should not be implied. Published material is subject to editing only for spelling, grammar, clarity, and formatting; other changes are not made without express written consent of the author.


Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright 1998 Best Brains, Inc. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by Best Brains, the Sci-Fi Channel, or their employees. "Gizmonics" and all related elements are copyright and trademark Joel Hodgson. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by him, so please do not sue us.


© MCMXCVIII MSTies Anonymous
The Poobah
mstanon@msties.com
Jet Jaguar kret0419@blue.UnivNorthCo.edu
Zen Psycho Cool6000@juno.com


"I could put you in my HabiTrail..."



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