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SOL Post 23 07/15/98
SOL Post 22 06/15/98
SOL Post 21 05/15/98




In This Issue

From the Poobah
"Why We Do What We Do for Each Other as MSTies" by solbase@solbase.com
"No More Mike Bashing!" by jonas42@hotmail.com
"Adam the Devil Doll Looks at Crow" by bozarth@adams.net
"Jenny for Your Thoughts" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu
"MSTable Movies" by RMichel424@aol.com
"MST3K: The Video Game Revisited" by mstanon@msties.com
June MSTie of the Month: hhanks@loki.berry.edu
MST3K Trivia Winners
July MST3K Schedule on SFC
Classifieds 3000

From the Poobah

Well, I don't really have that much to say this month. The biggest announcment would be for the new section of the site, Experiments. Sure, there's not much inside now, but it can grow to be comprehensive with your help. All submitted host segment transcripts, multimedia clips, and reviews will be posted with your credit. Other than that, be sure to play in the third game of Jeopardy!-esque MST3K Trivia. Oh, and did I mention Season Ten of MST3K? Season Ten of MST3K. Good stuff.

"Why We Do What We Do for Each Other as MSTies" by solbase@solbase.com

Why do we do the things we do as MSTies, Trekkies, or Questies? Is it that we like the show so much that we want to give something back to it? I think so. As with activities in real life, people are motivated into doing things to pay back and give back for the things and services they have received or been receiving. Boy Scouts become Boy Scout leaders when they grow up. Students at schools become teachers. Movie watchers become moviemakers, writers, and film directors. And being a MSTie is no different.
What do you do as a MSTie to pay back for this show that you watch? Perhaps start a web site as I have, maybe write a MSTing, digitize an image or sound from the show and put it on the Internet. Join a MSTie club such as MSTies Anonymous. You can become a writer for a MSTie group or sign up to become a completionist at Satellite News' Ward E... the possibilities are endless. But the best web sites are the ones where everyone can contribute and all pay back for the laughs and fun they have had when watching the show. MSTies Anonymous is a great example. If you've looked at MSTies Anonymous, you've found Tape Trading areas for our members, 'Bot Building statistics, trivia areas, you name it.
Us MSTies can do a lot for each other. If you've been hanging around the MSTie Internet for awhile, you may have seen different MSTie organizations and web sites come together and shake hands on agreements. If you've been reading this newsletter, either by e-mail, a printout from a friend, or browsing through the archives at this club's web site, you would have found articles contributed by club members... people who want to give back to the show by writing things for this monthly collaborative project. You would have seen the dedication and commitment to these things, both as a hobby and as a payback. That explains WWDWWDFEOAM (see above).

"No More Mike Bashing!" by jonas42@hotmail.com

Joel Hodgson: co-creator of MST3K, writer and host for 5 1/2 years.
Mike Nelson: head writer for nine years, host for about 4 years.

Who's better: Joel or Mike? I ask this question myself sometimes, yet I hate those who ask it. It is an opinion thing, but for some reason, those who like Joel (not all of you) feel the need to pick on Mike. What is wrong with you people? What's with this loyalty to Joel? Must I remind you who's been the head writer for a long time, some of that time in the Joel-era? Must I remind you whom it was that left the show? Must I remind you who keeps this show going? Mike is one of the most important people in MST3K history, so stop your bashing now. Now don't get me wrong here. I'm not saying I hate Joel or anything. As a host, I actually like Joel better, but in importance to the show, they are equals. Without Joel, there would be no MST3K. Without Mike, the show probably wouldn't be here today or at least if it would be it wouldn't be very funny. Could it be that they don't realize that Mike Nelson is a long time head writer?
Could it be that they don't realize that Mike is the one cracking the jokes down there?
Could it be that they don't realize that Mike keeps the show running (to and extent)?
Could it be that they don't realize that we will keep on fighting until they are taught a lesson that they and the world will never forget? Oops, sorry, wrong speech. Never mind. I'm done.

"Adam the Devil Doll Looks at Crow" by bozarth@adams.net

Hello. I'm the song paradist. I'm going to write, now. Well, let's cut to the chase. Every MSTie knows about Crow's voice change. But if you look at it this way, Crow grew up. Not convinced? Look at this chart of Trace Crow and Bill Crow.

Trace's Crow was kind of squeaky-voiced Bill is more deep-voiced and New Jersian
Trace's Crow made immature jokes like in Eegah- "Why not stick around for 'Dream On.' It's the BREAST show on TV." Bill Crow's worst jok is, in Deadly Bees, "This is considered naked in Britain."
Trace Crow always got time outs Bill Crow hardly ever gets in trouble
Trace Crow always fell in love (see, he doesn't know what love is, like smaller kids) Bill Crow mimics characters he thinks are cool (like teenagers trying to find their place in life, or some other crap)
Trace Crow also fell in love every other week Bill Crow is mostly set on Gypsy
Trace Crow was really energetic Bill Crow was inactive and clumsy when Bill took over (like puberty)

Thank you for looking at these differences. If you agree, then I won't be alone on this matter.
COMING SOON: The Gizmonics Enigma.

"Jenny for Your Thoughts" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu

Well, I just got the pictures back from my sister, Lindsey's (yes the one who hates MST3K) prom. The same prom I mentioned a couple articles back that had the Movie night. One of the prom's features was a MST3K room, which showed movies and stuff all night. My mom was asked to make the famous doors to enter the room. I must admit they turned out okay. I don't have the technology or know-how to put these pictures up so I'll just have tell you what they looked like. Outside there was one flashing red light and the entrance of door #4, which was a big circle vault door made out cardboard. Door #3 was the drawbridge made out wood and was on the floor. Door #2 was plastic wrap cut in three pieces that hanged down. Door #1 was bedded curtain. It might not be much but I think it was pretty good for high school.
As I stood getting my picture taken at door #4 a sense of pride came over me. Not only for what my mom had done but knowledge that I had MiSTed my family well. If you don't know what mean to MiST your family, don't worry, I just came up with the term. To MiST ones family is show them or make watch one episode of MST3K. You can MiST anyone. Your mom, your dad, your roommate, your friends, your cat, etc. Even if they don't love MST3K they way you do the effects of watching MST3K can show up. The whole thing with my mom making MST3K doors is just one example. My dad was nice enough to watch the Laserblast (which I thought was last episode of MST3K) with me. He then explained that the last segment was parody of 2001, which I didn't know.
Not only have I MiSTed my entire family but my grandmother too. Yup, she lives up in Minnesota and let me stay there when the MST3K Convention took place. My grandmother was also nice enough to make my Mr. B Natural costume for the costume ball. Let me tell you, you don't know what awkward means until you show your grandmother Mr. B and ask her to help you dress up like the some man-woman from a short shown on a cult TV show. I must admit the costume turned out good.
It disturbs me to think some people have not MiSTed their families, loved ones, etc. So I making June MiST someone month. That's right, you have whole month to show someone MST3K. Show them the movie, an episode a short, anything that been on MST3K. Do what ever you have to do: beg them, bribe them, or tie them to a chair... Do it! Even if they don't like it, at last you tried. Just let me give some suggestions about what episodes to pick to MiST someone.

  1. Show them an episode that you think they will like. They will be more likely to enjoy MST3K if they see something they like.
  2. Consider the time you have to show them. If you only have half an hour, show them a short or one of those MST Hour things.
  3. Explain the show concept before showing the episode. You don't have go through the entire history. Just tell them what they need to know.
  4. Avoid showing them a new episode. Sometimes new episodes are not that great, and neither are movies that only experienced MSTies can enjoy. Some movies are too horrible to show someone who's a new person.

Well, that's it. Tell me how it goes and what you did. If you already have stories about how you have MiSTed your family, share them. My address is S364128@urgrgcc.edu.

"MSTable Movies" by RMichel424@aol.com

In honor of the release of the new Godzilla movie, this month I'm reviewing four Godzilla movies that are some of the worst of the lot.

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (1974)
Godzilla meets himself in robotic form in this lousy film. A group of alien ape-men, disguised as humans, want to take over the earth, so they build Mechagodzilla. Also features a helper for Godzilla named King Seesar, who looks like a lion crossed with a dragon. Bad plot + bad acting = bad movie.

Godzilla's Revenge (1969)
This is the worst of the worst, in my opinion. A young friendless Japanese boy visits Godzilla's son, Minya, through his dreams. Minya sounds like Barney the Dinosaur when he talks with the boy. The boy learns to stand up for himself after he watches Minya stand up against his bully, Gabera. Gabera looks like he is covered in bubble wrap and sounds like a laughing cat. This film uses lots of footage from previous Godzilla films for its fight scenes. Also, there's a plot about some bank robbers.

Godzilla vs. Gigan (1972) AKA Godzilla on Monster Island
Giant alien cockroaches, disguised as humans, want to take over the earth so they take control of Ghidra, the three-headed monster, and Gigan. Godzilla and Angillus must fight together to save the earth. Godzilla and Angillus speak... in English! A must see!

Godzilla vs. Biollante (1989)
This is one of the most recent of all the Godzilla films, and the best of the Japanese bunch since the original. Some of Godzilla's cells are crossed with those of a rose to create Biollante. This has the best looking sets and the most realistic looking models in any Godzilla film. Still pretty bad, though.

"MST3K: The Video Game Revisited" by mstanon@msties.com

As you may recall from Volume 9 of the MSTies Anonymous Newsletter exactly one year ago, MST3K: The Video Game was my idea of a perfect video game experience. Well, a lot has changed in the gaming world since I wrote of the synthetic adventures of Mike and the 'Bots. I'd just like to take this opportunity to elaborate upon my previous vision and make the necessary adjustments in light of recent news.
During the last week of May at E3 in Atlanta, Georgia, Nintendo's Howard Lincoln speculated that the Nintendo 64 Disk Drive might not be released on American shores. Too many games previously slated for disk format have been converted to cart. What does this mean? Well, implementing a viable MST would be much more difficult without the cart/disk combo. But just for argument's sake, I'll rely on an eventual release of the 64DD.
Imagine peeling the clear cellophane off of the game box after admiring it for a while. Sliding out the disk would bring with it the instruction manual, Controller Pak stickers, and the mandatory Nintendo Power subscription info. Wasting no time, the disk is popped into the 64DD below the N64 and the Capture Cart is placed into the cartridge slot on top. Having already hooked up the Capture Cart, a great MSTable movie is put into the VCR. Otherwise, a cheesy video game (probably from Midway) in put into the main console.
The power is hit and the console springs to life. A familiar voice calls out, "Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Video Game, disk one!" with the legal notices on the screen. Without any loading time, the Love Theme from MST3K is played in a perfect MIDI rendition with voice samples from Mike Nelson as a real-time cinema sequence is displayed true to Seasons 5 and 6. But when the planet logo spins on the screen, the doorway sequence doesn't begin until you select Auto, Write, Rehearse, or Record and the number of players from the title screen menu.
During the Automatic sequence, preprogrammed riffs for specific movies are controlled by players in a similar fashion to that depicted in my last article on this topic. Instead of randomly mashing buttons to get jokes, however, players are prompted with joke cues on screen with suggested buttons below each character. For example, a character in a compatible game could jump off of a tall building and the vC button icon would flash below Mike, indicating observational humor. Players could accept the prompt for a "Mannix!" cry from Mike or choose one of the other available jokes at the time. Think of it as a creative, enhanced version of PaRappa.
Have a seat and get comfy!
Writing allows you to enter a virtual Best Brain writing room and plan out your jokes. Preprogrammed jokes from the Brains are displayed on screen and played using each of the writers' voice patterns as Time Code dictates. Here, players and their friends have the chance to either type in riffs through a keyboard accessory or through the microphone designed for Pikachu Genki Dechu (Pikachu is Feeling Fine). Once a script incorporating lines from the Brains, players, or both is made, it's time for the host segments. Total creative freedom is permitted in the virtual prop and writing rooms. Players would be able to choose from a number of sketches from the show itself or write their own situations. Any of the appearing characters from the ten seasons of MST3K would be equipped with props from each season as well as creations of the players.
Rehearsal is a rough run-through of the virtual episode. The tape or game replay is displayed complete with riffs in-between the host segments, one of the six opening versions, and credits for everyone involved. Each written line would be spoken by the characters' voice patterns as the tape or game plays out. If a line isn't that funny or a new joke is to be added, players go in and tweak the script. But be careful: motions in the rehearsal are finalized and Crow's mouth could end up being off-sync. How eerie.
Once everything is in place, Recording would play back the new creation in its entirety, ideal for taping on a 2nd VCR and distributing to other MSTies. Additionally, episodes saved to Controller Pak or disk could be uploaded to the inevitable N64 Network for MSTies Worldwide to download and enjoy. Then players would receive feedback for future virtual episodes or even work together with MSTies thousands of miles away. Should the 64DD see the light of day, this game would be a dream come true. I hope the Brains are listening... If not, I could create this through a Game Maker title in the Mario Artist series as freeware. What do you think, sirs?

June MSTie of the Month: hhanks@loki.berry.edu

I'm Henry Hanks, 20 years old from Augusta, GA. I'm hoping to go into film or TV. My favorite episode is "The Creeping Terror," my favorite character was TV's Frank, and my web site is Flying Elves Are Back! at http://www.angelfire.com/ga/hikeeba/mst3k.html.

MST3K Trivia Winners

There weren't too many questions sent in this last month, but enough to keep the game going. Here we go!

#35 was snatched up by 18-time ******* Matrebo. Thanks, RMichel424!
#37 got answered thousands of times, but Atog554 was the first to identify Crow's Kirk impression from The Movie. Matrebo's question didn't last long.
#38 was also answered by Atog554. Thanks to Chris in England for the question about Crow's three escape attempts in 819.

July MST3K Schedule on SFC

(All times Eastern and tentative)
Date Time ### Episode
7/11 5:00 pm 908 Touch of Satan
7/11 11:00 pm 908 Touch of Satan
7/18 5:00 pm 909 Gorgo
7/18 11:00 pm 909 Gorgo
7/25 5:00 pm 910 Final Sacrifice
7/25 11:00 pm 910 Final Sacrifice

Classifieds 3000

Wafflekins@aol.com writes: "This is my site, I can cry if i want to! If you haven't been to my site, I suggest you go there. Right now. Go. It's got a MST Library, Tape Trading, and MST3K: The Novel. Enjoy! Planet Waffle: http://members.aol.com/Wafflekins/waffles.html"

bozarth@adams.net writes: "Hey, pal! You like those really cool artiles by Bozarth? Well, he's got a site. Yes, a World Wide Web site on the Internet even! Check it out at http://members.tripod.com/~RobinsonAndNelson/mst.html. I've got Tape Tradin', my articles, sounds, and so much more. Go on. Check it out."


All material written by club members in this publication does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the staff of MSTies Anonymous. Endorsement of above publicized activities not operated by MSTies Anonymous should not be implied. Published material is subject to editing only for spelling, grammar, clarity, and formatting; other changes are not made without express written consent of the author.

Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright 1998 Best Brains, Inc. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by Best Brains, the Sci-Fi Channel, or their employees. "Gizmonics" and all related elements are copyright and trademark Joel Hodgson. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by him, so please do not sue us.

MCMXCVIII MSTies Anonymous
The Poobah
Jet Jaguar kret0419@blue.UnivNorthCo.edu
Zen Psycho Cool6000@juno.com

"Have you seen my record?"

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