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SOL Post 19 03/15/98
SOL Post 18 02/15/98
SOL Post 17 01/15/98




In This Issue

From the Poobah
"Our MST Duty" by RMichel424@aol.com
"MMMMMMMM" by jdzarnst@hilltop.ic.edu
"Nanites or Nanites?" by eekjk@ime.net
"Jenny For Your Thoughts" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu
"How Would Things be Different?" by grahl@geocities.com
"Cornjob's Corner" by Cornjob@hotmail.com
"The Tom Servo Theme Song" by ServoX451@aol.com
Jeopardy!-esque MST3K Trivia Winner
March MST3K Schedule on SFC
Classifieds 3000

From the Poobah

One month from now, we'll be enjoying Season 9. Not many TV shows ever last this long; MST3K is the exception and not the rule. I'm starting to wonder how long the show will live... But that'd be blasphemous. SFC has proven to be a great new home to the cow-town puppet show that will last for many years to come. Episode 1422, anyone?
Well, the painful transition is over. I revamped the page and finally moved it away from AOL. The new location is at the top of the newsletter. As for my new e-mail address, that's at the bottom. AOL members, don't fret. You can reach me via IM at MSTiesAnon. IRC users can occasionally find me on EFnet as MSTAnon. People in real life know me as... Well, I'll just remain anonymous to most everybody.

"Our MST Duty" by RMichel424@aol.com

Hello, fellow MiSTies! I think we have a job to do. We need to inform our local video rental stores about the most god awful videos on their shelves. We could write letters, or tell them in person. So far at my local video store I have seen the following MSTed movies at one time or another.

And several others I can't remember, and that is all at the same store. We have to save people who aren't MST3K fans from renting these horrible flicks. We should help to cleanse our local video rental of the atrocities.

"MMMMMMMM" by jdzarnst@hilltop.ic.edu

Greetings and salutations, hugs and spankings, and peas and carrots to one and all! This is the first installment of a (hopefully) regular new column/segment in the SOL Post Newsletter. Run by yours truly, Refueler, this column is called:

Mythic, Mirthful, and Magical MST Moments you Maybe Might have Missed!!!

(Or MMMMMMMM for short.)

Here's how it works. No matter how hard we all try to keep up with Mike and the 'Bots, there are, inevitably, two or three jokes/references per episode that just sail right over our heads. It's nothing to be ashamed of, it happens to all of us. Now, you can enlist the help of your MSTies Anonymous compatriots to puzzle out these puzzling peccadilloes!

It's simple: You just email your questions to jdzarnst@hilltop.ic.edu, with "MMMMMMMM" as the subject line (that's 8 of 'em, by the way...) and if I happen to know the answer, I tell you. There will, of course, be questions I can't answer. Hell, I probably won't be able to answer the vast majority of them. So, that's where you folks come in. I will gather all the questions I can't answer into a single message on each SOL Post, and helpful souls who know the answer can email it to me. I will then post question and answer together and give the kind samaritan full credit for their wisdom and generosity.

Perhaps an example or two would serve to illustrate my idea:



In "The Painted Hills" the following exchange takes place:

Evil guy: "Never mind the dog..."
Tom Servo: "...here's the Sex Pistols."

I don't get it. Help!



Dear Mr. q,

Good question. The illustrious Mr. Servo is referring to the legendary British punk-rock band The Sex Pistols; more specifically, their most well-known album, "Never Mind the Bollocks... Here's The Sex Pistols."

Hope that helps,



Eh? What's that you say? You want a Season 8 example? Can do...



In "Space Mutiny", when the spiky-haired captain walks onto the bridge, Tom starts humming some little tune. What's the reference to?



Dear quid,

He's recalling an observation made earlier in the episode when Crow mentioned that the captain looks like Sting. The tune he was humming was a song by The Police entitled "Doo Doo Doo, De Da Da Da." No, I'm serious, that's really what the song's called.

Hope I've been of assistance,



Starting to catch my drift? Of course, in the real deal, not all of the questions will be answered by me; most will be answered by and credited to you, the MSTies of the universe. In each installment there will be a section of the questions I managed to answer (probably few if any), then a section of the questions you folks have answered, then a section of entirely new questions! I hope that you will find this column amusing and informative, but remember that you only get out of it what you put in...

So send me your bewilderment, your confusion, your befuddlement, your blank looks, your head-scratching, your tired masses yearning to breathe free....

(jdzarnst@hilltop.ic.edu -Just in case you missed it earlier.)

Refueler...................................... Anybody seen my chicken puppet?

"Nanites or Nanites?" by eekjk@ime.net

The Nanites are not just those unappreciated microscopic little guys that you see on MST3K. They are also in many other television shows. In "Star Trek" and "The Outer Limits" episodes, small "nanobots" and other creatures have been used to produce super-human strength and fix computer systems. The Nanites from MST are much different. Although they might seem like harmless little electronic droids, they have more power that you can imagine. Since they can fix any problem on the SOL, they could also possibly CAUSE any problem. I am surprised that these Nanites have not taken over control of the ship yet. They outnumber Mike, Gypsy, Tom, and Crow about one trillion to one, and they have access to the whole ship. The Nanites should definitely have a new role in MST3K.

"Jenny For Your Thoughts" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu

Okay I'm sure most of you MSTies have someone in your life that thinks that MST3K is stupid or doesn't get the show or why you like it. If you don't have such a person, you are very lucky. For me, this person is my sister, Lindsey. I've tried showing her the best episodes time and time again to no avail. I've tried explaining it to her and I've even told her to shut up because I like it. But this entire thing has done no good.

Lindsey hates MST3K. She'd rather be watching an Adam Sandler movie. She would make fun of the show, the way I like it, and say other things. (You know how siblings can be.) I've asked advice on what I should do but it hasn't worked. I even had to get her to sign a contract saying that she wouldn't touch the VCR when the Turkey Day marathons were on. So when I left for college, she was sooo happy that she wouldn't have to watch any more MST3K or see me watch it.

Guess what happened... See it's Lindsey's senior year of high school, the year she's supposed to remember. Well it seems that our high school is decorating for the dance/prom thing and theme is Hollywood. MST3K got chosen to be a part of the decorations, which was big surprise because it wasn't that big when I went to school there. But I was like "Yes, my sister cannot escape MST3K!" I volunteered to help out in decorating and even maybe chaperone so none of my stuff gets stolen, even though I don't go to that high school anymore. Sure I'm a little disappointed that they are doing this now after I left. But who cares. The chance to meet some other MSTie and to embarrass my sister is too sweet to pass up. God I feel good!

I'm sorry if I sound mean or cruel but it is so ironic! So for all those who have those people who make fun you for liking MST3K just blow them off. Who cares what they say just keep on watching. Trust me, one day, revenge will be yours and you'll laugh your butt off like I am right now at my sister.

"How Would Things be Different?" by grahl@geocities.com

How *would* things be different, if Joel had not left, or, even better, had never existed. How *would* things be different, if Kevin Murphy was that 'regular joe they didn't like' from the theme song? How *would* things have been affected? I ask you my friends: What do you think would happen if Joel had never built the 'Bots, but the 'Bots had built him? What if, as I happen to believe, Tom sees through Cambot's lens? What if Cambot could speak? What if Gypsy riffed with everyone else? What if Cambot riffed? What if a nanite riffed? What if *Pearl* riffed? That's what I want to know: how would the show's infinite fans have been affected by all these things, and even more? I happen to think that all of this would have helped the show, but, Lord only knows what you think! E-mail me, tell me what YOU think. Send me YOUR what- ifs. matttnanite@geocities.com. That's the address.

"Cornjob's Corner" by Cornjob@hotmail.com

Hello again. I apologize for my absence the last few posts. I have been pretty busy lately and there hasn't been many questions posted to me. So I think that it may just be better if I just stop as your advice giver-outer. I really appreciate all of the questions I got and I just can't see this thing any longer being a decent article I could write with the lack of other questions and my busier schedule. So... I guess I have one last question to do...


Dear Cornjob,
I have a hard time accepting the crew reviewing color movies. I much prefer them savaging old black and white films. IS there something wrong with me, or should I just invest in a Zenith?
Hail Mike, the Destroyer of Worlds!!

Well Matt,
There nothing wrong with you. (At least for that color movies reason.) It's just a matter of opinion really. To me, at least, it seems more MST-esque to review old black and white B-movies but I also enjoy the somewhat newer ones in color they do too. So I really don't know what I can tell you about it. I say if you don't like... don't look at it.


So thats all, folks. Keep those cameras safely rolling and um... oh wait... nevermind.

"The Tom Servo Theme Song" by ServoX451@aol.com

In the not-so-distant future
Unfettered by time and space
There was a 'Bot named Tom
Red and different than you and me

He flew through space with the grace of a dove
Trying to escape the Satellite of Love
Too bad he didn't know
Soon he'd be pulled back
And reunited with friend Crow

He escaped those cheesy movies
For 500 years
And then he was yanked back
And started shedding tears

If there was no Servo
Where would we be?
We'd have no Science Theater
And no Mystery......

Jeopardy!-esque MST3K Trivia Winner

After three months of fierce competition among 41 members of MSTies Anonymous, one member has risen above them all to claim the title of trivia champion and their prize, a Rhino tape of their choice. This MSTie has amply displayed vast knowledge of the MST3K universe and racked up nearly twice as many points as anyone else. That player, with 36000 points is... Drumroll please...


Here's what he had to say: "This game was a lot of fun, and I enjoyed playing for the sheer fun of testing my MST3K knowledge. Of course, having a choice of Rhino videos for a prize was good incentive too. I haven't been happier since 'Family Matters' was picked up by CBS. Ahh...sweet Urkel... but I digress... I'd like to thank MSTies Anonymous for coming up with such good questions and for being there to entertain me when I couldn't get into see 'Spiceworld' for the seventh time due to an unfortunate incident at the theater. Apparently they don't like it when you jump up in front of the screen and dance along with the movie. Thanks to all the other competitors too, and I will see you in the next game."

Congratulations to CM Hill for a job well done and thanks to everyone else who played. The game was close right up to the very end. You all deserve a pat on the back. Of course, everyone (except for CM Hill) gets another shot at winning a Rhino tape in the next three-month game, starting on March 1st. Best of luck to you all!

On a side note, one member of MSTies Anonymous actually accumulated NEGATIVE 5900 points. Omnscnt failed to correctly answer even the easiest of trivia questions! In response to "She is married to Mike Nelson," Omnscnt asked "Who is Mrs. Nelson?" Even MSTie neophytes know the correct response is "Who is Bridget Jones?" Oh, well. You can't win 'em all.

March MST3K Schedule on SFC

(All times Eastern and tentative)
Airdate Time ### Episode
3/07 5:00 PM 810 The Giant Spider Invasion
3/07 11:00 PM 810 The Giant Spider Invasion
3/14 5:00 PM 901 The Projected Man
3/14 11:00 PM 901 The Projected Man
3/19 7:30 PM Little Gold Statue Preview Special II
3/19 11:30 PM Little Gold Statue Preview Special II
3/20 6:30 PM Little Gold Statue Preview Special II
3/21 12:00 AM Little Gold Statue Preview Special II
3/21 4:30 PM Little Gold Statue Preview Special II
3/21 5:00 PM 902 Phantom Planet
3/21 11:00 PM 902 Phantom Planet
3/22 9:00 AM Little Gold Statue Preview Special II
3/23 8:01 PM Little Gold Statue Preview Special II
3/24 12:01 AM Little Gold Statue Preview Special II
3/28 5:00 PM 816 Prince of Space
3/28 11:00 PM 816 Prince of Space

Classifieds 3000

mattthenanite@geocities.com writes:


All material written by members of MSTies Anonymous in this publication do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the staff of MSTies Anonymous.

Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright 1998 Best Brains, Inc. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by Best Brains, the Sci-Fi Channel, or their employees.

MCMXCVIII MSTies Anonymous
The Poobah
Jet Jaguar kret0419@blue.UnivNorthCo.edu
Zen Psycho Cool6000@juno.com

"Next time you want to say it, DON'T; let Bitter Sweethearts do it."

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