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SOL Post 18 02/15/98
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In This Issue

From the Poobah
"Episode Idea!" by RMichel424@aol.com
"Call Me Ishmael" by BobIshmael@prodigy.net
"Jenny For Your Thoughts" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu
"From the Offices of the New Otaku Nation" by gherity@freenet.msp.mn.us
February MST3K Schedule on SFC
Classifieds 3000

From the Poobah

Hey, how do you like the new and improved MSTies Anonymous Home Page? I sure worked hard on it, and I hope you enjoy. Arkmay@pobox.com also did a great job with the background pattern. All comments, questions, suggestions, etc. are always welcome. As for Jeopardy!-esque MST3K Trivia, Round Two ends on January 31st, after which there will be a final "answer" in the first two weeks of February. It's still not too late to dive right in! All you need is your user ID and password. Ask me for it if you've forgotten.
As you may have already heard, the start of Season 9 has been pushed back indefinately, aggrivating many MSTies. This reminds me of the constant frustration video game players have with new titles in development. Just when it's within reach, BAM!!! It's another month away. Oh, well. Final Fantasy VII or Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, anyone?

"Episode Idea!" by RMichel424@aol.com

Hey fellow Anons, I came up with a great idea for a future episode. Mike and the 'Bots wind up in 1992. They dock with the old SOL and Mike, Joel, both Crows, and both Toms would be on the new bridge! The old Tom would be sent to his room for the entire movie, hence Kevin has been doing it since Season 2 and it would be hard for him to work two puppets. Since Deep 13 set was torn down, they could film the Mads in an apartment. They could explain that Deep 13 was being fumigated because of an infestastion of roaches. So, in the theater would sit Mike, Joel, Crow (voiced by Trace), Crow (voiced by Bill), and Tom. All of them would quip away as usual. Yes, this would fill up the entire row of seats in the theater, but hey, it would be worth it! This episode would feature guest returns of Joel, Trace, and Frank! It would go great with all this lost in time and space theme. Pearl would join her son and Frank, bringing along Observer and Bobo. It would be the greatest episode of all time. All the old cast/writers would join in the writing, too. Now that would be one un-missable episode!

"Call Me Ishmael" by BobIshmael@prodigy.net

On the advice from the Poobah, I have gathered some MST-related literature. Okay, here goes.

Moby Dick- This is about a whale, not just any whale mind you, a big white whale! And, uh, he searches for this Moby guy who stole his peg leg. And... um, this guy Ishmael!! Well, the Ishmael guy's first name is Larry or something. Oh yeah, since the whale guy can't breathe air, only water, he has the Ishmael guy get a ship. Which if you abbr. is SOL or "Ship of Larry." See, I was going somewhere with that.

Oh well, no-one reads books anymore, so let's go to TV.

Space Ghost: Coast to Coast- Umm, well SG:C2C is a spin-off of a REALLY crappy Hanna-Barbera seventies cartoon of the same name (minus the "Coast to Coast" part). And he had this enemy named Brak. So if Brak got his own show the theme song would go "It's the Brak show, starring me! I'm Brak! We've got lots of good guests dah dah duh daht daht daw dudaw..." Which I heard on a movie which I can't remember... It'll come back to me.

Okay, TV is so 50's. Let's go to the Internet.

There's this strange thing I came across call "Mystery Usenet Theater 3000" or something of the sort. Which I'm not sure if it is MST3K related at all... I mean, MUT3000?!? It sounds like a super dog. There are some dumb people out there.

Bob Ishmael signing off...

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"Because seeing them on TV just isn't enough." That's our motto at the Build Your Own Bot Info Club. I know that every MSTie has dreamed of having one of those loveable 'Bots in front of their TV's, helping them MST whatever is on! This dream became a reality when I decided to make a 'Bot. I can assure you that it is well worth the time and effort. If you have ever wanted to build a 'Bot, NOW IS THE TIME! All you need is a little bit of time and an ounce of patience. The first step is to find bot parts. This can hard because not all parts are easy to find. I recommend the "Box Method" of getting parts. After you decide what 'Bot, or 'Bots, you decide to make first, get a big empty box, and whenever you come accost a part, just put it in the box. I have been quite successful with this method. It took me a few months to find all the parts for my Servo, but it was well worth the wait. If you don't have the time, and feel the urge to build a 'Bot NOW, you can visit the BYOB Trading Post. People are always looking for parts to trade with one another. I hope that you will one day have a 'Bot of your own; one that will help you through the tough times of a rotten, old, crummy movie.

"Jenny For Your Thoughts" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu

Well, it's that time of year when MSTies just wait around until February. Nothing to do but spread gossip about Season 9. So I decided to devote an article to juicy rumors about the old MST3K characters coming back. I asked people what they heard and I'm going share what they told me, their suggestions, and my ideas. Why? Bite me, it's fun.
The main reason is I can't keep a secret when comes to MST3K. Yup, I'll tell everyone I can and as fast as I can. No need to twist my arm, I'll cave in faster than a house of cards. Yes sir, the people at Best Brains can be glad I don't work there. But here what two other people dished. (I didn't print these peoples' names so wouldn't get in any trouble. Let's just call them Mr. A. and Mr. B.)

Mr. A. "In the online chat Nov. 2, Mary Jo Pehl flatly stated that there will be no cliffhanger."
Mr. B. "Just between you and me, you're not COMPLETELY wrong! See, #901 has Mike and the 'Bots going through the wormhole again to the EXACT time they left during #706: Laserblast. Meanwhile, Pearl and her sidekicks wind up at Castle Forrester, and while they're able to send Mike and the 'Bots 'The Projected Man', they're unable to send them #902!!! Like I said, this is just between you, me, and six people who work at an Eden Prairie studio. Thanks! 'Yeah! Lembach is staying! Lembach is staying! You can't keep us down Pearl 'cause Lembach is staying!!' - Mike and the Bots. #901 'The Projected Man'"

Well, isn't that interesting. But I'm sure if there is something going on, the people won't let us know and keep it a secret. But if the old characters do come back, I do have 5 suggestions.
5. (This is a personal opinion.) Don't let Trace do the voice of Crow. I just got used to Bill doing the voice. Plus it kicks up that argument about who's better if Trace does it.
4. Don't try to do the whole reunion in one show. This is one thing that shouldn't be rushed. Plus there's so much to cover.
3. Don't stretch the reunion into too many episodes. Make sure the old characters have a reason to still be there or doing something. Nothing is as unfunny as plot/ host segments ideas being stretched too long. (Look at the Brain Guys' segments. They lasted too long.)
2. Get Mike and Joel to be friends and get along. I want that stupid flame war about who is better to end.
1. Get Joel in the theater with Mike and 'Bots. It would be so cool.

Okay, I hope someone at Best Brains sees this. But now I want to share my idea how the reunion could take place. (This is for one episode or show.) Well it would start off in that courtroom where Mike was prosecuted for being a world destroyer. Mike and 'Bots be on one side and Pearl and others on another. The judge would announce that they are going decide on intervention and if it's right for Pearl to show bad movies here on the Universal Court (Parody of the People's Court.) They will summon people from the past to testify (enter old characters) and watch the plaintiffs watching the movie. Then Joel, Mike, Tom, and Crow see the movie.
On the SOL or in the courtroom, Mike and Joel are discussing their worst movies to tell the judge. The 'Bots ask Joel what heck happened to him. Joel says that by the time he got to America, Dr. F had let them go. (Joel had trouble raising money for the plane ticket and getting a passport.) So the 'Bots ask what he has been up too. Joel says he got married and shows them a picture of his hot wife. Both Tom and Crow reply "Heeelllooo, Mrs. Robinson." and Crow adds "Jesus is NOT the only one who loves you." Then Joel tells them that he now owns a ship company. "Yes, it's called Robinson Crusoe." (Yes, I go a long way for a lame joke!)
Next, Ortega has just gotten off the witness stand. The judge then calls Torgo. Ortega is thrilled because Torgo is his long lost cousin! They start to talk but no one can understand a word they're saying. (Okay, I just want see Torgo come back. I miss the guy.)
Last, TV's Frank gets called up. Bobo says not to worry because Frank one sharp guy. As the judge asks the questions, they find out Frank has no clue about anything. (This so some old info can be restated.) Frank gets down and Bobo says "See, I told he's one sharp guy." Pearl replies "Yay, as sharp as a spoon!" and hits them both and the trial continues. Well at the end of some later trial episode the cases are rested and court is adjourned until some other later time when they will decide whether or not to get involved or decide anything. (Just like a real court case!)
Well, that's my idea. If anyone has ideas of there own send to me and I'll put them in my next article. My address is s364128@urgrgcc.edu. Until next time. See ya!

"From the Offices of the New Otaku Nation" by gherity@freenet.msp.mn.us

I have been a MST fan for 8.5 years now, and ever since then, I have seen Joel/Mike and the 'Bots on my televison riffing to shreds all types of bad movies which deserve to be thrown into the gutter with all the common refuse of slime and excrement. But the extents they go to smash old Japanese movies makes my stomach turn. And the recent repeat of the "Space Chief" episode made me see the extent of the nipponophobia (fear of Japan and anything related to Japan) that the SOL has. The remarks that the 'Bots used have shaken my love and faith of the gang from the SOL. Then Mike gets into it... I am no longer a fan of Crow or Mike. And my love for Servo is getting rather thin... This is a warning to the SOL and to all fans who read this. If my faith in the logic of the crew of the SOL or the way that the SOL crew does their damage... I will have to resign my commission as a member of MSTAnon... Please send me your opinions.

February MST3K Schedule on SFC

(All times Eastern and tentative)
Airdate Time ### Episode
02/07 5:00 pm 805 The Thing that Couldn't Die
02/07 11:00 pm 805 The Thing that Couldn't Die
02/14 11:30 pm 803 The Mole People
02/21 5:00 pm 821 Time Chasers
02/21 11:00 pm 821 Time Chasers
02/28 5:00 pm 822 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
02/28 11:00 pm 822 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

Classifieds 3000

RPULTZ@aol.com writes:
Attention MSTies: Need these eps to complete collection.
KTMA: 1-5, 7-10, 13, 15 & 16
Comedy Central: 104, 108, 204, 207, 304, 314, 323, 509 & 519
Plus will take specials with any of the cast. Will record either on SP, LP, or EP. Interested? E-mail at RPULTZ@aol.com.


Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright 1997 Best Brains, Inc. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by Best Brains, the Sci-Fi Channel, or their employees.

MCMXCVIII MSTies Anonymous
The Poobah
Jet Jaguar kret0419@blue.UnivNorthCo.edu
Zen Psycho Cool6000@juno.com


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