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VOLUME 16 - HTTP://USERS.AOL.COM/MSTANON/ - DECEMBER 1997
FORMERLY THE MSTIES ANONYMOUS NEWSLETTER: NEWS FOR THE OBSCURE CONVERGENCE
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MIKE GETTING REALLY ANNOYED NOW!


In This Issue


From the Poobah
"Mad at HBO" by SVKB39C@prodigy.com
"Time Chasers: Made in 1994 or Not?" by RMichel424@aol.com
"My Favorite Year" by weird_1@usa.net
"Mystery Science Theater and You" by littlewhiterat@bigfoot.com
"Jenny For Your Thoughts" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu
December MSTie of the Month: buck50@efni.com
MST3K Trivia with Cambot@webtv.net Winners
January MST3K Schedule on SFC
Classifieds 3000
Disclaimers



From the Poobah


Merry Christmas! Happy Hannukah! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy New Year! Or whatever! It's hard to believe '97 is almost over already. It seems like only yesterday we were watching the premiere of Season 8 on the Sci-Fi Channel. Now Season 9 is nearly upon us in the coming year. Here's to the next season and many more on SFC! I have something else to say, but it was more appropriate for Classifieds 3000...



"Mad at HBO" by SVKB39C@prodigy.com


On Saturday, November 15th, 1997, the Cable Ace Awards took place. Our beloved Mystery Science Theater 3000 was rightfully nominated for the "Best Comedy Series" award.
When Bill Maher announced the nominees, we waited in anticipation, hoping MST3K would win. When Bill opened the envelope and read "The Larry Sanders Show," that's when the anger came.
HBO's (or Home Box Office as the Cable Ace calls them) "The Larry Sanders Show" should not have won. HBO should not be included in the Cable Ace Awards because they are included in the Emmys. Some feel this should be the other way around and perhaps they are right. HBO should be in one awards show, not both.
Wait until next year Larry Sanders... Mystery Science Theater 3000 will win. Just you wait.



"Time Chasers: Made in 1994 or Not?" by RMichel424@aol.com


Yes, every MSTie knows that this recent episode was the newest film that the gang has watched to date. I myself do not believe that it was "made" in 1994. I feel that this lousy film was made in the 80's but "released" in 1994. I have come up with several reasons why.


  1. The "hero" uses a Commodore computer for the time traveling. Commodore was long out of buisness by 1994! They were popular in the mid 80's, though. In 1994, just about any one who had a Commodore had upgraded to a Mac or an IBM. I doubt "butt chin" would still use that Commodore if he could use an IBM or a Mac.
  2. All the cars on the road are eighties models. If it was filmed in 1994, why weren't there any 1994 models?
  3. The software... where did he get Commmodore compatabile software in 1994? A garage sale? I don't think so.
  4. 5 1/4 inch disks... They were gone or almost dead by the year 1994. If it was 1994 as were are led to believe, then why wasn't he using 3 1/2 inch disks?
  5. Look carefully at the "present time indicator" on the machine in the plane... it reads 1991. The film was set in the near future, so why would they have it be 1991 in a 1994 film? Hmmm?
  6. The clothing styles are obviously 1980s styles. Even the future people looked like people in the 1980's.


Now you see, the film may have been released in 1994, but it was obviously made in the 80's. Thank you!



"My Favorite Year" by weird_1@usa.net


Just over a year ago, when my wife got a computer, I had little to no experience with web sites or the Internet.


One of the first places I went was to the Sci-Fi Channel web site, because Mystery Science Theater 3000 was to start airing on the channel and I wanted to learn about airtimes and the like. Well let me tell you, friends and fellow addicts, I found alot more than I bargined for!!!


I found a place where I could crack-wise to the shows televised on the Sci-Fi Channel. Is it called "Caption This." Now I am sure that you know of this site but do you know that this lowly website changed my life??? It is true!!


At first the captioners were few and I made friends with caption buddies CaveDweller, Occupant, Hippy, Hamdingr, MarandaRamsey, JoeCrow and GypsyRose. Over the year that followed, I made more friends, people who redefined funny, captioner's like JorgGirrrl, Geier, SunSinner, Cari, JXIV, BuckFifty, E_B_A, D_Idaho, and way to many more to name.


I have cyber-girlfriends in Got Milk, BigMac, Kit, MadamRazz and Scouty. The list gets bigger every day. I never had all that many friends, but everytime I take a break from the real world, I go to "Caption This" and match wits with the likes of DarkVortex, fuquad, and AnimeGirl. I can't think of a better way to spend a year than adding over 50 caption buddies to my e-mail list.


I know that there are more people I should include like, LizardQueen, MSTgal, Jazzygal and tons more.


I have lost good friends like Joni, people I never got to meet in person, but miss dearly...


I love this site!!! ...Happy birthday to "Caption This" and thanks to all who have made 1997 my favorite year!!!



"Mystery Science Theater and You" by littlewhiterat@bigfoot.com


Much has been said in scientific circles about Mystery Science Theater 3000, or as we Misties know it, MST3K. You, of course, are oblivious to that because we know for a fact that you do not hang out in scientific circles or you wouldn't be wasting your time on the World Wide Web which, as we all know, is a forum for deviants, ne'er-do-wells and overly frustrated freaks. Of course, those three terms also, coincidentally, very perfectly describe those who hang out in scientific circles as well, only we know it.


It is a commonly held misconception that everything you see on television is a lie. In fact, only what appears on CNN and The USA Network (with the conspicuous exception of Up All Nite) are lies, everything else is absolutely true. Use of certain toothpastes and beers do make you much more sexually attractive and potent. The choice of car will define you as a person for the rest of your life. You must see Must See TV or you are liable for steep fines, imprisonment or both. Mulder and Scully really have the hots for each other but will never get together because no matter how attracted people are to one another, the job always comes first. And all the MST3K you watch, along with the soda you pour down your gullet to accompany the high-fat burger and high-salt fries (which are both much healthier than a plant-killing salad which can be filled with several tablespoons of dirt and several hundred thousand aphids which are killed in the deep-fat frier) effects you and your ongoing existence in so many ways its scary. So scary that not even Mulder and Scully dare investigate.


Here is a small sampling of the ramifications inherent in your choice of sickly-humorous MST3K epsiodes. Each of these life decisions is based in part or entirely on what episodes you watch:



A complete listing of all attributes as well as the impact of various MST3K episodes (including Santa Claus, Prince of Space, Mitchell, Season One (any episode), Agent for H.A.R.M, Laserblast, etc.) is obtainable by submitting a request along with a self-addressed stamped envelope and a certified check for US$10,000.00 to our post office box in Pawtucket, Rhode Island.



"Jenny For Your Thoughts" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu


Thanks for all who are sending ideas or rumors they have heard about a possible reunion for Season 9. Keep them coming. I'll publish what everyone had to say next issue.
Well, it's Christmas and the season doesn't start for me until I hear "A Patrick Swayze Christmas." As we all look forward to that MST3K related gift, we dream about stuff not yet available. Like a Tom Servo alarm clock, a Bobo action figure, or Mike Nelson himeself in his jumpsuit under the tree. (Okay, I know this will never happen, but you can't blame a girl for dreaming.) I started to wonder what would I give the crew of the SOL and Widowmaker, if I could. So I made a list. Enjoy! (Note: some of the things I made up and I don't know If you can get them. So don't strain yourself trying to find them.)


For Brain Guy: new brain dish and robe, a tanning bed, the book "The Hardest Puzzle of All Time," and kiddy coloring book for when he finds out he can figure them all out.
For Bobo: cans of "Flea Be Gone", the King Kong movie collection, and a clapping human. (See, there are these thing called clapping monekys and they have cymbals and... Oh, just forget it!)
For Pearl: a list of bad movies she can send the crew of the SOL. Movies like Star Trek V, Attack of Killer Tomatoes, Mars Attacks, etc. A discount coupon to "Chip and Dales" with free lap dance by her favortie dancer Rodney. (This is the gift the keeps on giving.)
For Magic Voice: a year's supply of throat lozenges and the book "How to Speak Your Mind and Get What You Want."
For Cambot: some new lenses and the documentary "Cameras: the Thing Behind the Moives."
For Gypsy: the Richard Basehart movie collection, map of the Universe, and the book "Hicth-hikers' Guide to the Galaxy."
For Tom: the movie "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble," some underwear for his collection, and the book "The Line that Picks Up a Thousand Babes."
For Crow: the Kim Cattrall movie collection, "The Guide to Speck Script Writing and Publishing," and a Devil Doll.
For Mike: a year's subscription to "Sports Illustrated" with football phone (you have to get the football phone; it's a must!), "The Complete Works of Shakespeare," and the video collection of "My Three Sons." (See that guy had to raise 3 boys by himself and Mike's up there with 3 robots by himself... Oh, nevermind!)


Looking back on this list, you may see that I have give out alot of movies and books. Well, that's becasue these guys are in space and they have a lot of time on their hands! Geesh! Sorry, hollday stress has gotten the best of me this year. I hope you have good holiday.



December MSTie of the Month: buck50@efni.com


MSTie of the Month? Well first of all I'd like to thank all the judges I bribed for this honour.


Brad Brown, MSTie #83128, living wayyyyy up north in Canada (all snow and Overdrawn at the Memory Bank is our fault).


Well before I discovered MST3K, I used to have a life. Went out with friends, had a girl, all that *real* life jazz. But now that seems to have changed. Sure I still like naked creamed corn wrestling as much as the next guy, but all of my free time is somehow MST related. I'm either circulating the tapes, watching the tapes or making my own funnies on Caption This (I'm BuckFifty on there, come on out and waste a few hours... or days... weeks? Ok, fine! It's been months now! Happy? *Starts crying like a broken man*).


Since I discovered the show (around the time The Movie came out), I've been super lucky and have managed to collect all the available MST3K experiments. On a side note, I *know* that someone has to have a copy of K00, K01, K02 and K03... rabid fan, disgruntled ex-employee of KTMA, someone! Just a couple of words to them: SHARE WITH THE REST OF US!


What else? I'd just like to say hi and thanks to all MSTies out there. There's really no better group of people in the world! I've met so many great people out there. Some of them are destined to become life long friends. And what is the common bond that brought us all together? A little cow-town puppet show called Mystery Science Theater 3000.


"Mark Singer in a loin cloth..."
"Now I know why the show's called V."



MST3K Trivia with Cambot@webtv.net Winners


Hi everyone! I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to post any new questions for a few weeks, but one of my kidneys gave out and I had to get it removed (and yes, robots DO have kidneys). However, we have some leftover questions from the previous months answered, so without further ado...


#22 was correctly answered by BobIshmael. Torgo visited Deep 13 a total of 6 times (5 as himself and 1 as Torgo the White).


#25's question was the number of titles Rhino Home Video is planning to release of MST3K. So far the number remains 20 (although with #309 no longer being sold and the upcoming Poopie and Shorts tapes, that number might change.) Svkb39c gets the credit for this one. (And remember, you can play MST Jeopardy and possibly win an episode of your own- shameless plug.)


#27 goes to Roy33Avs. Tom Servo's body is made out of a Money Lovers Barrel Bank.


#29 was a bit too difficult so I'll just go ahead and answer it myself. In a couple of interviews, when asked what movie Mike Nelson hopes never gets the MST treatment, he has replied "The Trial of the Incredible Hulk." Now who can argue with that?


#30's answer couldn't come at a more convient time as the episode just aired last weekend. The archenemy of "Prince of Space" is the dimwitted, "lets shoot him with our ray guns even though they have no effect on him," Krankor. Jdzarnst gets points on this one.


And there you have it. When we meet again in the next year, we'll have all new questions with all new answers. In the meantime, I wish everyone a very happy holiday and hope the following year brings you only the very best. Later!



January MST3K Schedule on SFC


(All times Eastern and tentative)
Airdate Time ### Episode
01/03 5:00 pm 819 Invasion of the Neptune Men
01/03 11:00 pm 819 Invasion of the Neptune Men
01/10 5:00 pm 813 Jack Frost
01/10 11:00 pm 813 Jack Frost
01/17 5:00 pm 814 Riding with Death
01/17 11:00 pm 814 Riding with Death
01/24 5:00 pm 815 Agent for H.A.R.M.
01/24 11:00 pm 815 Agent for H.A.R.M.
01/31 5:00 pm 820 Space Mutiny
01/31 11:00 pm 820 Space Mutiny



Disclaimers


Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright 1997 Best Brains, Inc. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by Best Brains, the Sci-Fi Channel, or their employees.


MCMXCVII MSTies Anonymous
The Poobah
mstanon@msties.com
Jet Jaguar kret0419@blue.UnivNorthCo.edu
Zen Psycho Cool6000@juno.com


"I'll see you on the dark side of Raul!"



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