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SOL Post 13 10/15/97
SOL Post 12 09/15/97
MSTies Anonymous Newsletter 11 08/15/97




In This Issue

From the Poobah
"Reunion Sign!!" by shadai@usa.net
"Why Didn't They Do This Sooner?!" by schirmer@uslink.net
"Things I Have Learned From MST3K" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu
"Love Shack/Love Sat." by mstanon@msties.com
"Cornjob's Corner" by Cornjob@hotmail.com
September MSTie of the Month: quarshen@hotmail.com
MST3K Trivia with Cambot Winners
October MST3K Schedule on SFC
Shameless Self-Promotion MST3K Classifieds

From the Poobah

Okay, so it may not be up-to-the-second like Tom Servo demonstrated in 817 Horror of Party Beach. But at least in this edition of the SOL Post, you can keep in touch with the MSTie phenomenon that's sweeping the nation and the world. We, the MSTies Anonymous members, can make the SOL Post the best newsletter this side of Eden Prairie! Huzzah! New to the newsletter is a section called "Shameless Self-Promotion MST3K Classifieds." This area is dedicated to providing MSTies Anonymous members with a place to post their MST3K-related activities. If you submit to this section, all I ask is that there be no web page ads (except, of course, for the MSTAnon page). In the... you know... expect to see some more improvements at the MSTies Anonymous Home Page. MST3K Trivia will have a new game added to the mix, a la a certain game show hosted by Alex Trebek of Jeopardy! fame. Oops, I've said too much already. If you have any suggestions for page additions/improvements, please contact me, mstanon@msties.com. Now, on with the first incarnation of the SOL Post, Formerly Known as the MSTies Anonymous Newsletter: News for the Obscure Convergence!

"Reunion Sign!!" by shadai@usa.net

MST3K is one of those shows where a new update sends a shock of excitement throughout America. For instance, when Joel left and Mike stepped in, everyone was surprised. When Trace left and Bill proudly lifted up the controls of the Golden One, everyone was surprised. When Mike blew up a THIRD planet, everyone was surprised (at what a moron he is). :-) I know one thing that I look foward to (don't laugh) is when the three do things in the Theater when they walk in and the like. It's just a refresher from the usual 6-doors-open-walk-in-put- Servo-down routine. Umm, let's see... something from Season 8. On the episode when aliens attacked the SOL, Servo got stuck and Mike and Crow walked into the Theater on their own. I was surprised to see Mike actually walk in flailing his arms around, free of the red burden he had to carry (which crawled in from the right). Or in "Prince of Space" when Mike turned into a robot. I can honestly say that we all must have gotten a kick out of that.

ANYWAY, I'm losing the point here.

Joel/Trace/Frank/Josh left... they refuse to return; and I don't blame them, they have their own lives... BUT wouldn't they at LEAST give in to one classic episode as a reuinion?

Think about it...
A new episode starts...

Mike: Hi, everyone, I'm Mike Nelson on the SOL. You'll have to excuse Crow and Tom today; they seem to have a rare virus that seems to affect their vocal mechanisms.

(Crow and Tom pop up.)

Crow: (Iiiiiiiiiiit's TRACE!!!) Hello... *sniiiiif*
Tom: (Heeeeeeeere's Josh!!) Oh boy... I had like NO sleep last night. Just coughed up liquid rust.
Crow: At least you didn't have to rush to the can with blood diarrhea. (I FORGOT HOW TO SPELL IT!! SHOOT ME!)

Now how will we include Joel, Frank, and Dr. F? And how will we get rid of them after the episode?

Weeellll... perhaps you, as the reader, could provide ideas. It's a dream, sure... but perhaps someone... anybody will do... okay, ME if it must be (but it WON'T!) can contact BBI and ask them about it.

I am thinking for the magical dream episode we have Joel AND Mike in the Theater... Anyway... if you have any ideas, write me at shadai@usa.net.

Thank you and this is Shadai SIGNING OUT!

"Why Didn't They Do This Sooner?!" by schirmer@uslink.net

The credits flew!

"Just because it's kinda relevant,
we'll 'balee-hoo' Fifth Element...!"

The lights dimmed!

"An' head's'll be a' throbbin'
when we hit Batman and Rob-b-b-b-bin!!!"

The riffs flew!

I just wonder why they hadn't thought about doing this sooner!! It's a 30 minute romp (for those of us who don't have time to watch a new 2 hour episode all of the time) with WONDERFUL riffs and good live-action scenes.

I like that we've finally been able to see the inside of the theater. You can even see the "safe" door in the background! And how often can you see Tom Servo and his voice supplier, Kevin Murphy (as Professer Bobo) in the same scene?! (Cool factoid: take out yer videotaped copy of the MST3KSBR and watch the scene where Bill Corbett as 'Brain Guy' sits down. If you watch when Crow talks, you'll see his lips move the slightest bit...!)

The only disappointment is that they don't get the shot to do this at EVERY bad summer movie that comes along! Here's a list of what they missed: (can anyone say "First Annual MST3K Summer Blockbuster Review - Part II"?)

Just to name a few!

Anyways, nothing more to say, nothing more to do. I think a viewing of 817 is in order!


"Things I Have Learned From MST3K" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu

Well, it's back to school time. I feel that I have learned a lot from MST3K. I started to list all the things I have learned over the past 8 years.

What have you learned from MST3K? Please don't repeat anything I've written. Write me at S364128@urgrgcc.edu.

"Love Shack/Love Sat." by mstanon@msties.com

If you see a faded sign by the edge of the Universe that says
15 light years to the... Love Sat! Love Sat. yeah
I'm headin' down the Galactic highway, lookin' for a comedy mainstay
Heading for the comedy mainstay, comedy mainstay
I got me a Bug, it's as big as a whale and we're headin' on down
To the Love Sat.
I got me a Volkswagen, it seats about 20
So hurry up and bring your grade-B movie
The Love Sat. is a little old place where we can laugh in the Theater
Love Sat. baby, Love Sat. bay-bee.
Love baby, that's where it's at, Ooo Love baby, that's where it's at
Sign says.. Woo... Tom Servo's Room, 'cause Tom rules at the Love Sat!
Well it's set way back in the middle of time and space,
Just a funky old Sat. and I gotta get back
Nanites on the bridge desk
Nanites on the spaceway
Nanites on the Sat. dish
Nanites on the hallway
The Love Sat. is a little old place where we can laugh in the Theater
Love Sat. baby! Love Sat., that's where it's at!
Jokin' and a quippin', laughin' and a teasin', 'Bots wearin' next to nothing
Cause they're just robots
The whole Sat. screens! The whole Sat. screens when everybody's
Sittin' around and around and around!
Everybody's jokin', everybody's quippin' baby!
Folks linin' up outside just to get Movie Sign
Everybody's jokin', everybody's quippin' baby
Funky little Sat! Funky little Sat!
Hop in my Volkswagen, it's as big as a whale and it's about to set sail!
I got me a Bug, it seats about 20
So hurry up and bring your grade-B movie
Bang bang bang on the door baby! Knock a little louder baby!
Bang bang bang on the door baby! I can't hear you
You're what?... Amazing Colossal, Man!
Love Sat., baby Love Sat!
Love baby, that's where it's at
Jokin' and a quippin', laughin' and a teasin' at the Love Sat.

"Cornjob's Corner" by Cornjob@hotmail.com

Welcome again to my corner. The doctor is IN!!!


Dear Cornjob,
My Sister, Lindsey, hates MST3K. She would rather be watching an Adam Sandler movie like Happy Gilmore than watch MST3K. I've tried to show her the light by showing her episodes but to no avail. She constantly complains that my tape collection takes up too much space. I had to get her to sign a contract that she wouldn't touch the VCR during the Turkey Day Marthon. Though I don't care what the heck she thinks, it dose bug me when she makes fun of MST3K. What should I do?
Sorry I Have a Sister in Saratoga

Well, Sorry,
Two words... nuclear weapons. Nah, just kidding. Well, I kind of know what it is like. I have buds that make fun of my obsession with MST3K. The way I see it is that you give yer sis a taste of her own medicine. Try poking fun of something that is important to her. Now be nice, though. Don't hurt her feelings or anything, but just make it annoy her the way that what she does annoys you. And when she asks you why you do this just tell her it's because she can't support you as a MSTie. Now I know revenge isn't really the greatest thing to promote, but hey it's only a TV show, so it isn't really that bad. Umm yeah. This is my advice and I'm stickin' to it! Now go away! NEXT!!


Dear Cornjob,
I'm a frequent trader who exchanges episodes on tape and parts for 'bot building. Unfortunately, sometimes the trades get lost in the mail and the person I send them to usually get peed off. Is there anyway I can be absolutely sure they'll go through?
Innocent Trader in MN

Dear Innocent,
That's a bad predicament. I don't work for the US Mail or anything, so I'm not really knowledgeable on the subject. All I can say is that you should make sure you got the other person's address written down correctly and that you have the proper amount of postage. I would also suggest to ask the Post Office about this and see if they have any ideas. Well that's about all I can think of to give advice wise. NEXT!!


Dear Cornjob,
I just saw that Spice Girls: The Movie is coming out! Is this a sign that the end of the world is soon or sign that Hollywood is evil and just cares about money?
Scared of Those Spice Girls in Cincinnati

Dear Scared,
Yes and yes. NEXT!!!


Oh, nevermind. That's it for now. Hey, three is the best turnout yet. Remember to send your questions asking for advice to me, Cornjob. My e-mail address is cornjob@hotmail.com. Now be good little soldiers 'til next time. Buh-bye.

September MSTie of the Month: quarshen@hotmail.com

I'm the what??!

Those were the exact words that poured forth from my mouth when I got the dubiously wonderful news. I am Mistie of the Month. Whatever the heck that is supposed to mean. The powers that be obviously don't have incredibly high standards over at Mistie of the Month picking headquarters. After all, I am just cute little me.

So what if I am a beautiful, blonde Sophomore at Luther College in Decorah, Iowa. So what if I am presently majoring in English and Communications, with a Psychology minor. So what if I have ONLY been a hard-core Mistie since the KTMA season. And so what if I hold a 2nd degree blackbelt in kickboxing. All these points are moot when you consider that I am Cornjob's sister. Yes, THE Cornjob, as of Cornjob@hotmail.com. Nothing compares to that honor. (Come to think of it, I am CERTAIN that my being chosen as Mistie of the Month has nothing to do with being related to this newsletter's Vice President. Or Co- founder. Or whatever my brother does for that thing.)

More about me? I'm a DJ at my college radio station, I play french horn and sing, I love to watch Mystery Science Theater 3000. And that's all I've got to say about that. Thank you for choosing me! You like me, you really do like me!!!

Nichole (quarshen)

MST3K Trivia with Cambot Winners

Once again it's time to announce all the monthly winners, but before we start, I want to let you in on a few things. Starting this week, all new questions will be posted on Sunday and Wednesday. Also, I will now be answering to everyone who submits a reply. (I apologize if people have been thinking I'm ignoring them.) And finally, although the head honchos and I have YET to come up with a prize, I am sending out "improved" MST Information Club membership cards. If you haven't received one yet, send me a note with your real name, address, and Mystie number and I'll get it right out to you.

Okay, here we go:

#11: That's right, someone finally got it right after three months! Our own head Poobah MSTAnon correctly replied the Mole People appeared in #515 "The Wild, Wild, World of Batwoman." In fact, they used actual footage from the movie destined later to be experiment #803.

#17: The bug alien from "This Island Earth" is named Scrotor. S364128 got this one right.

#18: Wolffen was the first to answer Gypsy's task on the Satellite of Love was controlling all the higher functions on the ship. Pretty easy one.

#19: Still up for grabs!

#20: Since all of them answered on the same day, this is a 4-way tie between Edwood78, MH3001, MST3K 1988, and TV's Jeff. The first six episodes from this season were all flicks from Universal. Strange, eh?

#21: Door #4 is a draw-bridge with chains on it. The honor goes to Edwood78 again.

Well, that's it for this time. Before I go, I just want to inform everyone who gets the mailings I send out that things have been slow news-wise lately, so I'm compiling some important articles from the past. They'll be out to you no later than September 30th. And of course, anyone who wants to receive the mailings can contact any of the bosses and they'll send 'em my way. Later!!

October MST3K Schedule on SFC

(All times are Eastern and tentative)
Airdate Time ### Episode
10/04 5:00 PM 818 Devil Doll
10/04 11:00 PM 818 Devil Doll
10/11 5:00 PM 819 Invasion of the Neptune Men
10/11 11:00 PM 819 Invasion of the Neptune Men
10/18 5:00 PM 813 Jack Frost
10/18 11:00 PM 813 Jack Frost
10/25 5:00 PM 814 Riding With Death
10/25 11:00 PM 814 Riding With Death

Shameless Self-Promotion MST3K Classifieds

hestgray@ionet.net writes:
I recently wrote a popup for mIRC [v4.7+] which will msg the current channel you are in with a color ascii art of Servo. I've decided to share this with the newsletter. Everyone, please feel free to convert this to other IRC clients. BTW, you can all reach me on EFNet as Zaphod42 in channel #mst3k. Share and enjoy!
/msg # 1,1___4,1_1,1___
/msg # 1,1__0,1(4,0_0,1)1,1__
/msg # 1,1___15,4!1,1___
/msg # 14,1=0,1^5,5___0,1^14,1=
/msg # 0,1*1,1_5,5___1,1_0,1*
/msg # 1,1_1,0/0,0_1,0|0,0_1,0\1,1_
/msg # 1,1_______


RMichel424@aol.com writes:
This is not really an article, but a desperate plea for help. I'm addicted to downloading all things MST3K. I believe I have the single largest MST3K file database around (and you don't haha). If you don't believe me read this. I have in my hard drive, over 1700+ wav files of MST, nearly 400 pictures, 3 midi files, and 28 videos. This takes up over 242.34 MB of my hard drive. Now you can't say that I'm not a die hard fan for doing that. Anyway, I was writing this to ask for help. I supply people the wav files they want. I have downloaded all these files of the Internet with a few made by myself.
But I don't have all the files I want. I need a bit of help. This is where you can help. I'm begging you, please, if you have copies of all those mov files, that are no longer available, from the Movie write me back. If you don't but know some one who does. give me their E-Mail address. Please I'm desperate. I'm sure we can work something out. If you have a CD-ROM writer, I'll send two blank CDs and a stamped self address envelope to you. That you pay nothing but a little bit of your time.
So, if you are ever in need of some MST3K file, write to me and I'll help you. The site I want the clips from closed shortly after The Movie left theaters. I would have had them because my friend has access to a CD-ROM writer, but he never had enough free time to do that. Please, please, I'm begging you all on my cyber-space knees, help me.
I will try and copy this letter and ship it to all other MST3K web page owners. That will also help boost my efforts. I hope to hear from someone soon.


astone@st1.wou.edu writes:
I need an excellent copy of the Deep 13 logo! I have not been able to find one so far (I admit that I haven't tried that much) and I need it desperately- I am the station manager of a minute university TV station and our studio is in the bowels of the student center. I need a Deep 13 logo on my office door!! HELP!!
Also, does anybody out there have any ideas for a low budget comedy for our channel? We have news, a music video show, a popular X-Files parody, and coming soon a parody of MTV's Love Lines. Any other ideas? Or want to see our work (the cheesiest!)? E-mail me!!


mrbntrl@geocities.com writes:
Hiya everyone! I'll get straight to the point: I am thinking of hosting a weekly riff on some broadcast TV series. I was thinking maybe X-Files. I think it's on at the same time everywhere. I need your advice. If you have a better show or something, e-mail me at mrbntrl@geocities.com. I'm also thinking of having it on the Sci Fi IRC server. Thanks in advance.
MrBNtrl a.k.a. Sephiroth :)


Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright 1997 Best Brains, Inc. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by Best Brains, the Sci-Fi Channel, or their employees.

© MCMXCVII MSTies Anonymous
The Poobah
Jet Jaguar kret0419@blue.UnivNorthCo.edu
Zen Psycho Cool6000@juno.com

"We've evolved beyond language."

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