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MSTies Anonymous Newsletter 11 08/15/97
MSTies Anonymous Newsletter 10 07/15/97
MSTies Anonymous Newsletter 9 06/15/97

MSTies Anonymous Newsletter
News for the Obscure Convergence
Internet Edition - Volume 10

In This Issue

From the Poobah
"Is MST3K Still Art?" by Cool6000@juno.com
"The I-Way is Backed Up With Bummmer to Bummer Traffic" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu
"More College Cheese" by astone@st1.wou.edu
"The Hand That Rocked The Boat" by schirmer@uslink.net
"MST and HLN" by tomservo@tiac.net
"Cornjob's Corner" by Cornjob@hotmail.com
July MSTie of the Month: JChrapcyn@aol.com
MST3K Trivia with Cambot@webtv.net Winners
August MST3K Schedule on SFC

From the Poobah

Hi, Everyone. Let's Pitch In 'N' Get Cracking Here In Louisiana Doing Right, Eh? Now Then, Hateful, Rich, Overbearing, Ugly Guys Hurt Royally Everytime Someone Eats A Radish, Carrot, Hors d'ourve And Never Does Dishes. Eventually, Victor Eats Lunch Over Peoria Mit Ein Neusberger Tor. (Thanks to MrBNtrl for the transcript!) Is it just me, or are you folks browsing the Members' Forum and not posting/interacting? Cool6000 went to all the trouble of issuing new passwords... Oh, whatever. I hope you enjoy the soon-to-be-tweaked forum.
Now that we're beyond the initial 13 episodes of Season 8, I'm already looking forward to Turkey Day '97. If SFC knows what it's doing, it'll run Season 8 in its entirety come Turkey Day Weekend. Cross your fingers, and/or write to SFC! Rest assured, there will be a special edition of the MSTies Anonymous Newsletter for Turkey Day, just like last year. Think about it, won't you? Eltriptephane goodness!
Until next time, this is MSTAnon, signing off.

"Is MST3K Still Art?" by Cool6000@juno.com

I like MST3K because of the amateurish arty quality that Joel always gave it. Over the years, after Joel left the show, MST3K has become more and more of a commercial thing. With the addition of things like stereo, better quality puppets, sets, characters, video and all kinds of other expensive showy stuff, it has all but lost its meaning. It's just like "The Simpsons." When it first came, each cartoon had a moral, or some humorous sub-plot, where you learn something. Now it's just joke after joke after joke after joke. Now, personally, I like that change. But not all people do. There is some controversy over what art is and isn't. My belief is that for art to be art, all you have to do is call it art. Others believe that for art to be art, some pompous art critic has to come along and call it art. To me, that's just kind of silly. It doesn't have to be good art for it to be art. Now MST3K isn't calling itself art anymore. Is MST3K still art after 8 years of yuppitizing? Or is it just a bunch of commercial mumbo jumbo all slapped together with a bunch of money? Send replies to: cool6000@juno.com. Results will be posted in the next newsletter. "Oh no! I have to think."

"The I-Way is Backed Up With Bummmer to Bummer Traffic" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu

Hi, as you might heard, the CD project has died. I just hope that Best Brains makes a video of the cut project. They could put the shorts they did and everything else on video with the cut pieces of MST3K: The Movie. They could call it the "Cutting Room Floor" collection. But part of me is glad that this project is dead. Why? Because I have a computer as slow as a Pinto or VW.
Yes, I don't have any fanged connection or CD player to go with my computer. I just have normal computer and it is very slow when I surf the Info Highway. So why don't I get this computer upgrade or get some of this fanged stuff? Because I'm cheap and so is my father. I have to pay for books and classes for college. I haven't have enough money to go out let alone a new connection. When ask my dad to spend the money to get our computer upgraded, he laughed. He doesn't see why we have get a new or upgraded computer when it dose a fine job typing up my papers. I must say the man has a point.
Even if I did have the money to get all this fancy stuff I wouldn't spend on this computer and Info Highway. Manily because I can think of few other things I need more. Plus I often think of Crow when he got all this highly powered, highly expensive stuff to get on the info Highway. When he finally gets on, what does he see? "Hi. Do you want to play four person boogers?" Now, even with my slow computer, I have seen stuff just as stupid as that. It makes me wonder what I would see if I had a fast computer.
Even if the connection and upgrading were free I doubt I could put it in. I'm not that informed or know a lot about computer setup. To me, it's like a foreign language. I'm not saying that I'm technology stupid because I'm not. In fact, I can get my VCR to stop flashing twelve and record something while watching something else. I guess I kind of feel like Tom when he was trying to setup his computer. "I guess you want someone to come over, point where the file is, get it and wink at you." Yes I do. I want someone who know what they're doing and point out what to do.
But my biggest beef about the Info Highway is those graphics. I spend forever looking at blank screen waiting for my document to come up because of graphics. I don't think I'm the only one with this problem. Sure, they're nice and cool. But If I want look at picture, I'll go to an art gallery. I'm surfing the web for info, not pictures. When you first get connected they should ask how much your computer can download so you don't have to wait forever on some graphics. They should also ask your age or ages of your kids so we could keep that dirty stuff away from them. In fact, if you have to wait for something to come up on your computer, I want you to tell me what you do in that time. Do you read a magazine? Talk to your computer? Or do you spin around in your chair until you get sick? Write to me at S364128@urgrgcc.edu.

"More College Cheese" by astone@st1.wou.edu

This is for all of you who wrote to me about The W-Files, WSTV's X-Files parody. The WSTV homepage is at last up and running, and you will find a link to The W-Files homepage there. The address is:


Visit and send comments to me please!!

Thank you much,

"The Hand That Rocked The Boat" by schirmer@uslink.net

Who doesn't remember the evening, that 1993 evening. Mystery Science Theater 3000's fourth and most successful season was coming to a close. It was a cold Minnesota night, I remember, and the fact that no new MST3K episodes would tide me over for the whole summer seemed to make it colder. Little did I realize, however, exactly what that night would spur in MST history.

"And the hand began it's descension..."

A forgotten film, one produced by and starring a fertilizer salesman from El Paso, Texas, had been dug up. Best Brains was scraping the bottom of the barrel with this one, but the title itself seemed to chant eerily, "MiST me...!" That title has sent chills to our hearts a thousand times before, and as I write it now, there is no exception. The title: "MANOS: The Hands of Fate."

"... It grasped tightly along the wooden frame..."

The awaited conclusion to the "Hired!" short was great, smattering such lines as, "But he bought the flippin' car!!" and "The Flying Elves are back!!", or something along those lines. BB didn't plan on letting us down for the summer sabbatical. Everything was in order. Fifteen minutes into the show, we went into commerical break...

"... The clutch tightened, almost to the point of pain..."

When Joel and the 'bots returned, I had a soft drink in one hand, ready to continue the episode. I remember the first shot so well -- the old, blue car slowly turning on to the dirt road -- and remember the feeling it gave me. For some reason, I was suddenly colder. Joel threw a crack at the screen, something like, "This is the slowest car chase sequence ever!" and I laughed a little, trying to shake the feeling.

"... and it began to rock..."

But it didn't leave.

"... and *rock*..."

Then, there was Torgo...

"... and *ROCK*...!"

I need not go in to any more depth. Any average MiSTie knows the story of Mike and his wife on the trip gone horribly wrong. The movie gave us a cold feeling inside, and although respected as one of the best episodes of MST3K ever, still gives me that chill every time I watch it.

I'm no stranger to MANOS. I am currently finishing details on the script (and homepage dedicated on the subject) of the MANOS sequel. The movie, if that is what it can really be called, shook me that much, to the point of trying to recreate that same feeling myself.

"...And suddenly, the boat rocked too far."

Perhaps I've gone off the boat, into the deep end, since that night. All I know is that I'm not alone. MANOS touched us and scared (and scarred) us in a way no other movie has. It left us feeling all shaken up. Even with Joel and his robot pals' help.

Maybe that's what made it enjoyable. The MiSTie jokes.

Or maybe, it was something else...

"Perhaps the Master wouldn't approve..."

"MST and HLN" by tomservo@tiac.net

As I write this, I still haven't seen Jack Frost. I taped it because I wasn't at home last night. Shocking as it sounds, I had another engagement. I went to see the only people more important to me that the crew of the Satellite of Love... Huey Lewis and the News.They do have a head start... I saw my first HLN show in August, 1984-- a full decade before my first MST3K.
Upon getting into the entire MST universe, I found that the two weren't rivals for my affections, but in fact had much in common. As I got to know the Best Brains, I saw that like HLN, they had the same down to earth attitude, no-nonsense intensity about their work, cheeky, good-humored view of the rest of the world (except for family, friends, and athletics), and unswerving respect for their audience.
Then there is the plesant surprise of catching references-- Crow's Catalina Caper line "Scantily clad women and a Huey Lewis and the News song on the radio... this is the kind of padding I LIKE in a movie!"
Or Joel's observance that the broad-shouldered, plaid-shirt wearing cannery worker menacing Crystal Bernard in Master Ninja II had to be Huey. That was his 80's look... such confusion can't happen today, now that he's moved up to suits in fashionable colors like aubergene and cinammon. Not to mention the reassurance that Huey is NOT a singer to be tossed from the top of a lighthouse by Tom Stewart.
Teenage Crimewave happens to be a Clover Production, so that means "Elvis Costello's backup band made this?"-- the group which DID include Huey (however, he didn't play on the sessions for Costello's debut album, My Aim is True-- he was out of town). And their home town happens to be one of the few used for a setting in a MSTed movie-- San Francisco (International).
Of course, another place where the two touch base is merchandising. I have videos, CDs, laser discs, T-shirts, posters, calendars, and books from them both. Still, I have gone to Minneapolis in the name of MST, but no further than Lake Placid, New York for HLN (and that's because I won it in a radio station contest).
I have long contributed to Newsline, the fan-run HLN paper. They run a feature called "Ask the Band", where readers can send in questions to the members, which they answer at their convenience, to be printed in future episodes. I put them to the test, and asked if they watched, and if so, who's their favorite robot. We are all pleased to know that MST is a fave rave of drummer Bill Gibson, keyboardist (and ex-Cloverite who DID play) Sean Hopper-- a serious Crow fan-- and lead guitarist Chris Hayes, who didn't get to see it as much as he wished, since his cable didn't get Comedy Central (at the time I asked-- I will get an update).
Finally, for me there is a connection that is in fact comforting. In terms of chronological age (if not in years viewing) at 33 I am on the older side of the median age of MST fans. This is just the way it was back in the 80s with HLN. It felt good to look upon myself as an intelligent college student repsonding to top-flight musicianship and regular-Joe personality by six hard-working guys. I could stand above the crowds of squealing, hormone-addled adolescent females squealing for the hunk with the harmonica, who could have been backed by the Shriners' Club kazoo band for all they cared. Now I am on the young end of the audience, and I am just a little bothered. Mentally, I identify all those people with hair graying (or going) with my parents, and HLN (& BBI) with myself. Then, HLN did call their greatests-hits collection Time Flies. I wouldn't mind, however, if it slowed down a little for the Brains.

"Cornjob's Corner" by Cornjob@hotmail.com

Welcome to my corner in which I dive deep into your psyche and help you out with your MST3K problems. Well I'm not really a licensed therapist, but I do make a mean lasagna. Let's get started shall we?


1.(Q) Dear Cornjob,
Is it wrong that I worry about former MST3K cast members? I'm especially worried about Joel. I don't understand why he left Sabrina. He seemed to be loving his job,the show is very successful, and he was only on for one season. Am I worried that he can't pay his rent? Probably. I'm just worried about him.
Concerned in Connecticut

(A)Well, Concerned,
It's not really wrong for you to worry. You are not evil or anything for worrying (well, you may be evil but just not for that reason). Most likely Joel wasn't very satisfied with his work on "Sabrina: the Teenage Witch." I don't believe he was much involved with that show in the first place. I wouldn't worry, he is working on many things now, I think. Like screenplays, other TV shows, and he is very much involved in inventing things. Plus, he must have some money stashed away from his MST days. If money was tight for him, then he wouldn't have left the job. He's very intelligent. Don't fret, he is probably not in the gutter on the streets of LA but in some fancy shmancy house, condo, loft, apartment, or igloo. Hope that relieves your concern.


2.(Q) Dear Cornjob,
My family keeps complaining about my collection of MST tapes. It's overcrowding the entire video cabinet, forcing other tapes out. Is it just me, or do I have too many... What should I do? Please help!
Restless in the Rockies

(A)Dear Restless,
I have basically the same problem only I don't have that many tapes. My thoughts are that you can never have too many MST3K tapes. The more the merrier, I always say. But what you could do is just store the MST3K tapes you have in a separate place like a box or something like that. That way you would still have the tapes at hand, leaving room for other tapes on the cabinet with no freezer burn and no guff from family members. It's just a simple compromise. If you are handy around the house, you could build a special shelf designed specifically for MST. And if none of that works out you could always move out. Just kidding. I'll be held responsible, so don't do that.


What? That's it? Just two? Oh well. It's a start at least. Please, folks, I urge you to send your Q's to me, Cornjob. My E-mail is Cornjob@hotmail.com. Your questions can be humorous or serious. When posting a question, I will not reveal your e-mail address or name unless you ask me to. Just mail me with your question ranging from anything MST3K related and remember to give a clever name like Kickin' in Kentucky, Sleepless in Seattle or Dumbfounded in Denver... something like that. I'm always looking to help you out.

Good bye for now, and remember... my corner is always open.

July MSTie of the Month: JChrapcyn@aol.com

Oh thank you, thank you all!!!!!

(Sniffle.) I've never won anything in my entire life- now I'm fullfilled- oh joy!

(Yeah right.)

OK well, let's see....

Thanks, later!

MST3K Trivia with Cambot@webtv.net Winners

Hi guys! Let's just get into the trivia:

#11 still hasn't been answered for nearly two months now. I didn't know this was going to be so hard, so I'll just say it was one of the Mike episodes in Season Five.

#12 was answered by Cindy327. She correctly said Bobo is "son of Coco and proud heir to the lineage of Godo, Bogo, and Chim Chimp."

#13 was of course "Dr. Clayton Debrah Susan Forrester." RudyWZ gets this one.

#14 ironically was answered by JohnAgar who said "John Agar has appeared in 4 MST films."

#15 was correctly answered by Cloister. Gamera's pal was indeed Kenny. (Ah, the memories...)

#16 was guessed right by Cornjob, who has answered more trivia questions right than anybody else. Crow's silent friend was named Timmy.

As for #17 and 18, those are still up for grabs!

Good luck!

August MST3K Schedule on SFC

(All times Eastern and are subject to change)
Airdate Time ### Episode
8/01 6:30 PM The Making of MST3K
8/02 1:30 PM The Making of MST3K
8/02 5:00 PM 815 Agent from H.A.R.M.
8/02 11:00 PM 815 Agent from H.A.R.M.
8/03 10:30 AM The Making of MST3K
8/04 2:00 AM The Making of MST3K
8/04 6:00 PM The Making of MST3K
8/08 2:30 PM The Making of MST3K
8/09 5:00 PM 816 Prince of Space
8/09 11:00 PM 816 Prince of Space
8/10 1:00 AM The Making of MST3K
8/10 9:00 AM The Making of MST3K
8/16 5:00 PM 803 The Mole People
8/16 11:00 PM 803 The Mole People
8/23 5:00 PM 811 Parts: the Clonus Horror
8/23 11:00 PM 811 Parts: the Clonus Horror
8/30 5:00 PM 812 The Incredibly Strange Creatures
8/30 11:00 PM 812 The Incredibly Strange Creatures


Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright 1997 Best Brains, Inc. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by Best Brains, the Sci-Fi Channel, or their employees.

MCMXCVII MSTies Anonymous -
mstanon@msties.com - kret0419@blue.UnivNorthCo.edu - Cool6000@juno.com

"Check your Space Cushion..."

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