||Quest of the Delta Knights
Servo: Oh, not difficult at all, Mike. Acting on some ancient urge imprinted in my very genes, a few days ago I wriggled my way onto a twig and began squeezing a thin stream of liquid from my spinnerette, which I turned into a soft button of silk. Then, using wavelike movements of my body, I rolled my skin off toward my rear, exposing the soft, front parts of the pupae. It was already warm...
Mike: Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Satellite of Love. As you can see, there's been some changes in Tom. It's a little difficult to explain.
Mike: Okay, okay. Okay, alright. The point is...
Servo: I'm a butterfly. And a glorious one at that!
Mike: Right. So the Tom Servo we've all known and loved...
Servo: Oh, nothing but a larva, Mike. It was a surprise to me, too. Hell, I didn't even know I had a spinnerette until I began squeezing that thin stream of liquid, you know?
Mike: Okay, enough with the thin stream. Now the colorings, is that a camouflage of some sort?
Servo: Uh, yeah. Well, unfortunately I blend in only with myself, Mike. Makes me incredibly susceptible to being eaten by a barn swallow. I tend to survive only a day or two.
Mike: Yeah, well until that happens, I whipped up a little nectar for you. Here you go.
Servo: Ah. Oh, boy. Mmm.
Mike: Eww. Oh.
Servo: Hey, my proboscis doubles as a party favor!
Mike: Yeah, neat. We'll be right back.
Servo: Lemme tongue. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. That's good nectar. Mmm.
Mike: Hey, Servo! What happened to your, uh...
Servo: I'm still a beautiful butterfly, Mike. I've had a few unfortunate happenstances such as my wings being torn off in an industrial accident. Well that depressed me, so I ate alot of mallowmars and gained all the weight back. But I was soon feeling better and went back to work. But alas, somebody turned on the extruder while I was cleaning it and my bottom two pairs of delicate butterfly legs were ripped from me. Again depressed, I hit the pecan sandies -- hard -- and gained my remaining weight back and my remaining arms. My arms, by now in a metabolic frenzy, started to leech fats from my antennae, which made them so thin as to be invisible. But I am still a beautiful butterfly, Mike. And uh, butterflies are free to fly. Fly away, high away, bye bye. Oooooh!
Mike: Well, makes sense.
Servo: And I still have my proboscis!
Mike: Ah, great. Oh. Uh, Pearl's calling.
Mike: And it seems urgent.
Mike: Yes, Mrs. Forrester.
Pearl: Mike, what are you doing? It's ten o'clock!
Observer: You don't have your penguin costumes on yet.
Bobo: You said we would meet here at ten o'clock with our penguin costumes on already.
Pearl: Hurry up and get 'em on. We haven't much time! Hurry!
Crow: Hey, it's not our fault. It's uh... It's Mike's. Yeah, why didn't you tell us, Mike?
Servo: Yeah, that's great. Mike didn't tell us! Yeah.
Crow: Yeah, you couldn't even have left us a note on the refridgerator door?
Mike: I... We don't have a refridgerator.
Servo: Exactly, Mike. We don't have a refridgerator 'cause you don't make enough money to get one 'cause your job stinks 'cause you never stayed in school.
Crow: 'Cause you were too lazy to get proper post-secondary school training. So we have to suffer for it.
Servo: Exactly. That's why it's your fault we don't have our costumes on.
Crow: Mike's fault.
Pearl: Stop talking nonsense. Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!
Bobo: Before it's too late!
Observer: In the name of all that is good and decent, gentlemen, put on your penguin costumes!
Mike: Pearl, these old... these old costumes were uh, all we could come up with. I'm sorry.
Pearl: Oh, Nelson. You guys are total rubes.
Bobo: I can't believe they fell for it. Woo hoo hoo hoo!
Observer: I've never met anyone as gullible as you poor dopes.
Pearl: To be pulled in by such a simple thing like this. All we had to do was call fifty-three costume shops to find one that had three penguin costumes, reserve 'em eight months in advance with a huge cash deposit, then pay the balance of $899 per costume to rent 'em for an hour, then put 'em on, then wait 'til you guys woke up and finished breakfast, then call you and make believe we had set an appointment up with you to wear penguin costumes and then... you fell for it! It was so simple!
Observer: Actually, it was a bit pathetic of us, I'm afraid.
Bobo: It was.
Pearl: Well... Well you guys should be even more humiliated. Nelson, you have a dog costume on. Hehe.
Mike: Ha, ha, ha! You all have ridiculous-looking penguin costumes on!
Crow: And you're out alot of money and time.
Crow: Burned you, man!
Servo: Woo hoo hoo!
Pearl: I hereby decree that you are more burned than us. Your humiliation is at least 1% higher. We win. Waa, waa, waa! To celebrate, we're sending you a horrible, smelly movie. It's called "The Screaming Skull"! Eat it!
Observer: We're so stupid...
Servo: Boy, do they look stupid.
Crow: Yeah, at least we maintained our dignity.
Servo: Yup. Oh...
Crow: Movie Sign! Baa!
Servo: In this comical story, our two pranksters hire some well-meaning, unsuspecting robots, who want nothing more than to serve humanity to the best of their abilities...
Crow: Well, mother, what should we do with our naughty miscreants?
Servo: I think we should give them milk and cookies! Hooray!
Mike: Hi, guys.
Crow: Oh hi, Mike.
Crow: You're just in time to enter our wonderful clay-based world of whimsey and wonder.
Servo: Yeah. Where under the surface lies a rat's nest of seething violence and hatred! Whee!
Mike: Oh, neat. Uh, you want to unpack that for me?
Crow: Uh sure, Mike. Welcome to the land of our two little clay figures, Bolace and Horseflop.
Mike: Oh. What do they do?
Servo: Mostly, they gather lint, hair, and animal dander.
Crow: But they share an empassioned hatred of robots.
Crow: Uh, move the robots up there, will you, Mike?
Mike: Oh, okay. Sure.
Crow: And the two wretched lumps of filth carry out a campaign of terror and savagery on the handsome, helpful robots.
Mike: Okay, I think I see where you're going with this, you guys.
Servo: Good. You work the lumps, we'll do the voices.
Mike: No, guys, c'mon. I know you're hurting, but...
Crow: Please Mike? Just work the lumps.
Mike: Okay, alright. Fine.
Crow: Okay now. Mike, make the lumps uh, smash the robots. Go ahead, go ahead. C'mon.
Servo: C'mon, smash the robots! Smash 'em!
Mike: Oh c'mon, Crow. C'mon. Don't put yourself through this.
Servo: No, Mike! This is what happens in the real world. Horrid lumps of discharge destroy beautiful, innocent robots with impunity, laughing all the way.
Mike: You guys, you guys. Calm down. I'll tell you what: I'll make a note to Pearl to go easy on the Gumby shorts. Alright?
Servo: Thank you, Mike.
Mike: "Dear Pearl, Please go easy on the Gumby shorts." See?
Crow: Oh, could you get us some Dizzy Grizzlies there, Mike? We need 'em for the trauma we're experiencing.
Mike: Oh. "Get Dizzy Grizzlies for trauma they're exper..." We'll be right back. Okay, calm down. Soon, you'll be munching Dizzy Grizzlies. Calm down.
Crow: Hehehe. This is great.
Mike: Hey, guys! What's going on?
Crow and Servo: Shh!
Crow: Quiet, Mike! We're trying to scam a free coffin outta those morons who made today's film.
Servo: Yeah. Free coffin if you die of fright. Wee-hoo! I'm gonna say I died of fright, even though I haven't yet. Then I'll just sit back and wait for my free coffin. Hahaha!
Crow: Yeah, some film-releasing companies are so stupid.
Friendly Phone Representative: American International Pictures.
Servo: Uh, yeah. I died while watching your film "Screaming Skull." Shh! Quiet, you'll ruin it!
Servo: Uh, I'd like to get my free coffin out of the deal, please.
Friendly Phone Representative: Okay, there should be a code number on that film. Can you read that off to me?
Servo: Code number... Code number?
Crow: Uh... Three. Three.
Servo: Yeah. Um, three?
Friendly Phone Representative: Okay, that's the stock re-order number. The number I need begins with an L and is followed by three digits.
Servo: Okay um, L333, I guess. Good.
Friendly Phone Representative: Okay, is this Tom Servo?
Servo: Yeah. Yeah.
Friendly Phone Representative: Okay, I have you listed as a viewer of "Screaming Skull" and you say you died during the viewing of this?
Servo: Yeah. Um, no... Well, my friend did.
Friendly Phone Representative: Sir, please know how sorry we are for your loss. We'll try to make this as easy as possible. Which style of coffin would you like for your dear friend? The Imperial, or the Restgiver?
Servo: Uh, it doesn't matter. Look, let's just forget the whole thing, okay?
Friendly Phone Representative: Sir, I know how hard this must be for you, but if you'll bear with us, we'll get through it. Imperial or Restgiver style?
Servo: Uh, I dunno. Imperial, I guess.
Friendly Phone Representative: Satin or velvet lining?
Crow: Hang up, hang up!
Servo: No, they've got my name! Hey uh, lady? It looks like my friend is moving. I guess he's not dead. Why don't you just cancel for me?
Friendly Phone Representative: I don't understand. Your friend isn't dead?
Servo: Uh, no. I thought he was dead, but he's not. Wow, look! He's up now. He's moving around alot.
Servo: Wow, wow. Look, now he's in the triathalon.
Servo: Oh, boy. He's finishing 2nd. It looks like he's gonna be just fine.
Friendly Phone Representative: Well, the order's already gone through to shipping. You're going to have to receive it, return it, and pay shipping both ways.
Servo: Yeah, fine. Fine. Goodbye. Mike, hang up, quick! Woo!
Mike: Okay. You know, you guys should try pulling pranks that don't involve lying about the dead.
Crow: Oh right, Mike. You come up with one, then.
Mike: Oh, there's gotta be...
Servo: Movie Sign!
Mike: Oh, we got Movie Sign! I'll talk to you later.
Servo: Mike! What is... Mike, no! No! No, Mike, no! Mike, you're going to kill him! What are you doing, Mike? Mike, you're insane! What are you doing? Stop it now.
Servo: Okay, you set? You got the plan down?
Crow: Well, I think so. I'm a skull.
Crow: I sit here and be a skull.
Crow: Yeah, I think I got it.
Servo: Yeah, and then to cap it all off, Mike walks in like a sap and he... Oh, wait! Here he comes.
Crow: Rah. Oh! Hey, hey Mike? What are you doing? Stop hitting me with those chips. Ow. Ow. Man.
Servo: Man, that guy is spooky, huh?
Crow: He was really hitting me with those things. Wow.
Servo: Yeah, I think he was really... Oh, no. Oh, no! Crow, look out!
Crow: What? What? What is it? What?
Crow: Stop it.
Servo: Mike, this kid...
Crow: Oh, oh... Is he gone?
Servo: Yeah, I think so. I think he might be out of it... Oh, no! For God's sake, Mike! No!
Crow: What has he got? What does he have?
Servo: Forget it, Mike. Listen to me. Listen to the sound of my voice, Mike. Mike, no!
Crow: What does he have?
Servo: Mike, this is not a skull. This is Crow, Mike. This is Crow here.
Crow: Don't let him hit me.
Servo: Do you understand me, Mike?
Crow: Don't let him hit me.
Servo: No, Mike, no. Please, it's Crow. There, put it down. Oh no, Mike. Don't hit him with the driver. That's way too... Hey, is that one of those Big Berthas there? Lemme see that! Is that a 10.5 loft?
Crow: Don't talk to him about the Big Bertha!
Servo: Oh, sorry. Sorry.
Crow: Stop hitting me!
Servo: Mike! No, Mike! Mike! No!
Crow: Stop it!
Servo: This is Crow!
Crow: Stop it!
Servo: This is Crow, Mike! Stop! It's Crow! It's Crow! It's Crow. It's Crow. It's Crow. It's Crow. It's Crow. This is Crow.
Servo: This is Crow.
Mike: But... he was screaming... He's a skull. And he was screaming...
Servo: Yes. Crow screamed. Get it?
Crow: I screamed, Mike. It's Crow. It was all in fun. Hahaha. Good time?
Crow: Just me screaming. And now listen...
Servo: Stop! Why are you hitting him, Mike?
Mike: We'll be right back.
Servo: Oh, no! No! Oh, you got me! No!
Mike: Yeah, I'll sign for that there.
Servo: I'm coming... Hold your water... It's in the... Gah!
Delivery Man: Hi. Are you Tom Servo?
Servo: Um, no. Hehe.
Delivery Man: I've got a package here for uh, Tom Servo from Coffins Etc. Could you sign for it, please?
Crow: Hey, hey, hey! Servo, your coffin is here! You luck.
Mike: Oh hey, Tom. It looks like your coffin finally arrived, huh?
Servo: Huh? Huh? What? Oh. Yeah. It did, didn't it?
Delivery Man: Boy, this looks like a great place to work.
Delivery Man: Oh. Thanks, you have a good one.
Mike: Okay, yeah.
Servo: Thanks alot, Mike. Now I'm just gonna have to return the thing. It's... Really they stick you for the shipping. It's like $750 each way.
Mike: Really? Ouch, huh?
Servo: Boy, tell me about it. I had to max out your Optima card.
Mike: I have a feeling you're going to get alot of use outta that coffin.
Servo: Oh, yeah?
Servo: C'mon, sunshine.
Crow: Hey, there's an ape calling us!
Bobo: Oh, my goodness! Mike, Crow, Servo! Why aren't you in your monkey costume? It's getting late and you're supposed to be in your monkey costumes now. 'Cause remember we agreed this is the time when you should be in your monkey costumes at this time. Oh, hahahaha. Psych! It's me, Bobo! I'm kidding you! I really had you going there for awhile. You'd thought I was an ape! I totally fried you losers!
Pearl: Brain Guy, would you mind?
Observer: Oh, I couldn't possibly. Oh, alright.
Bobo: What? Hey! You guys got big! Hey! What the... Woof!
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