Experiments MSTies Anonymous SOL Post The Club MSTie Net



621 Beast of Yucca Flats 01/21/95
622 Angels' Revenge 03/11/95
623 Amazing Transparent Man 03/18/95



622 Angels' Revenge A Best Brains Production
Transcripts by S0lCrow@aol.com
Prologue
Segment 1
Segment 2
Segment 3
Segment 4
Segment 5
622.wav "...By this time, my lungs were aching for booze." -Crow 59k



Prologue


Servo: I wear my sunglasses at night...
Mike: Oh hi, everyone. I'm Mike Nelson and this is the Satellite of Love. And this is...
Crow: I am so angry, I can't remember when I've been this angry.
Mike: Crow what's wrong? What's happened?
Crow: I've got amnesia.
Mike: Amnesia?
Crow: Can you believe it? I of all people, Crow T. Robot, have amnesia.
Servo: Hey, anybody know the capital of South Dakota?
Crow: Pierre.
Servo: Oh, thanks a lot.
Mike: So Crow, about this amnesia deal...
Crow: Oh it's terrible, Mike. The list of things I can't remember is endless! I can't remember you, I can't remember Cambot, I can't remember Fisk's home run off the foul pole in the bottom of the twelfth inning of game 6 of the 1976 World Series!
Servo: Okay, mythical beast, 8 letters, beginning with...
Crow: Minotaur.
Servo: Oh, thanks a lot.
Crow: Lets see, last time I had amnesia, I got somebody to hit me a sharp blow to the head. Cleared 'er up right away. Uh, would you mind Mike... Just uh...
Mike: Hehehe, Well, I don't know. Anything I can do to help I suppose, yeah...
Crow: Well if I'm not mistaken, there should be a large wooden mallet under the desk.
Mike: Well I... I can't seem to uh, find it...
Crow: Uh, bottom shelf, on the right, way in the back, uh, behind the lava lamp.
Mike: Oh, well you're right. Alright. Well, if you're ready then uh, here we go.
Crow: Okay. Oh ho!
Servo: Gee...
Crow: Hey! Now I remember! It wasn't amnesia I had, it was ambrosia! Heh... Make a list baby, and love him.
Servo: Again, harder this time. Uh, we'll be right back.


Segment 1


Crow: Make a list baby, and love him!
Mike: Oh, come on Crow. Come on, give it a rest, or, at least sing something by Eric Carmen.
Crow: All by myself...
Servo: Wait! Look! Look! Someone's trying to contact us!!! Who is it?! What do you want?! WHO ARE YOU?!
Dr. F: Ah Mike, how are you? You're probably wondering why we're dressed as our favorite 70's relief pitchers: Tug McGraw and Rollie Fingers.
Mike: Yeah uh, hehehe. WHY?
Dr. F: That will all become clear soon enough my impertinent little titmouse. Frank?
Frank: Face it, Nelson: your ratings stink! I mean, geez! You draw fewer viewers than re-runs of "The Duck Factory."
Dr. F: So, to beef things up a little bit, we've put a little additive in your food supply to turn you and your little minions into the cast of the smash hit starring Lorenzo Lamas: Renegade!
Frank: And that's why we're dressed as 70's relief pitchers.
Mike: Oh, come on. There's nothing you can put in somebody's food that'll turn them into the cast of Renegade! Hehehehehe... Ooh!
Servo: Ahh!
Mike: Ahh!
Crow: Ahh!
Dr. F: Keep it up, the ratings are on the rise! Yes, baby! Now remember, you're a cop who's been accused of a crime, and you uh, roam the countryside as a bounty hunter, looking for the murderers of your wife. Yes! YES! Oh no. It's wearing off! The ratings are slipping!
Servo: Aye, yiyiyiyiyi.
Crow: Did I just turn into your wily, Winnebago-driving Native American buddy, and then back again?
Dr. F: Oh okay, this is not a problem. Us being 70's relief pitchers is worth at least a full ratings point. Show 'em your Tug McGraw again, Frank.
Frank: I'm Tug McGraw.
Dr. F: And as your experiment this week, I've tapped into the 70's jiggle-fest "Angels' Revenge" starring Jim Backus and Jack Palance, who, in lieu of pay, actually worked for Scotch.
Crow: On and on...
Servo: Kill him! Come on, get him!
Mike: Oh sorry, Servo! Oh, we got Movie Sign!
Crow: Movie Sign! Movie Sign!


Segment 2


Crow: Okay, everybody! In the spirit of the 70's, I've come up with a brilliant blaxploitation film for all of us to star in.
Mike: Crow, I don't know. It just seems to me that you've re-worked "Earth vs. Soup" and inserted jive-y character names.
Crow: Oh, like I'm that lazy... Huh...
Servo: Now I'm confused, am I "Chocolate Jones" or "Sugar-Fly Queen"?
Crow: Ah, you're both. And you're also reading the part of "Sweet Mama String-Bean" who runs the Boutique D' Boute.
Servo: Sweet Mama String-Bean?
Crow: Okay, Mike, ah... Take it from Afro's and Bofro's line on the top of page five.
Mike: Okay, girl don't think on Soul Brothers.
Gypsy: I don't have any lines.
Crow: Well, but you get to wear slinky dresses and hold guns and stuff...
Gypsy: Not this sister!
Mike: Crow, ya know, I don't know how to tell you this but, ah, look at me, I'm really not that funky.
Crow: Mike! To me you're the Don Cornelius of the 90's.
Mike: Well I... I don't really see it that way...
Crow: "Chocolate Jones and the Temple of Funk" is a guaranteed bofo-box office. Smudgy the Bootblack which, is of course my part. So I'll need a cane. Oh and Mike, what size dashiki do you wear? Uh, I'll get a large. Now, the Cadillac's...


Segment 3


Crow: Ah, let's see, do you have any five's?
Servo: Fives, fives, um, nope, no fives.
Mike: Hey, guys, check it out: 'eyyyyyyyyyyy!
Servo: Uh-huh...
Mike: Hehehehehehe.
Crow: Ah, hold that thought, Mike.
Servo: Yeah.
Mike: Whoa. 'ey... Hehehehe... 'eyyyyyyyy.
Servo: Fire in the hole! So, uh, any jacks?
Crow: Eh, no.
Servo: Oh! Movie Sign!
Crow: Whoa, hey!
Servo: Bu-dum-bum...


Segment 4


Mike: Some say lo... Love... Some say love...
Crow: Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Steve!
Servo: Mike! What's happening? What's going on?
Gypsy: HELP!!!
Mike: What the... Cambot, give me Rocket Number 9! It's Aaron Spelling's house!
Servo: Shh, don't disturb it! It might charge.
Crow: Majestic, yet, graceful.
Mike: Wow, this could take a while.
Gypsy: I feel so insignificant.
Mike: We'll be right back.


Segment 5


Servo: Mike, there were a whole lot of shameful performances in today's movie. Why even your run-of-the-mill palooka like Crow here could tell you that much.
Crow: He's right, I could.
Servo: But now, thanks to my fantastic new invention, mankind are able to measure exactly how shameful they was.
Mike: Wha, this little thing? The Shame-o-meter?
Servo: Shame-o-meter, Mike.
Crow: Hey! Shame-o-meter! Bop de... bu didi. Shame-o-meter.
Servo: Shut up, Crow. Mike, shame emits tiny waves best measured in units of Lawfords, kiloLawfords, megaLawfords, and so on. Cambot, if you please. See there, mid-megaLawfords range there. I'd say that's pretty shameful, but, let's try something else. Cambot? Ahh, see there? Jim Backus level measures well into the gigaLawford range, so in order to get an accurate reading, I'm going to have to retrofit this little baby...
Mike: No no, that's quite alright, Servo. You know though, you, young man have performed a valuable service here today.
Servo: Huh? What the... Oh my God! There's an unidentified source. This could be dwelling in the googol machine!
Dr. F: Mike, it was pointless and silly of us to have dressed as 70's relief pitchers, and to rectify this situation we've decided to dress as Bobby Riggs and Billie Jean King. Because, Mike, we pride ourselves as being topical and current.
Frank: Hey, ya lousy woman, rectify this!



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