||Code Name: Diamond Head
Servo: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes I see. Yes... Well, describe your childhood to me, Mr. T. Robot.
Crow: I didn't have a childhood.
Servo: Mmm, I see, and how would you describe your relationship with your mother?
Crow: I didn't have a mother.
Servo: Ah, interesting... Have you seen "Cliffhanger"?
Servo: Hmm, tell me more about that.
Crow: I didn't see "Cliffhanger".
Servo: This seems painful to you.
Servo: Hmm... Uh tell me, Crow T., what kind of fishing lure do you think is appropriate for early spring?
Crow: Definitely a Rebel Deep... Uh, nothing leaves this office, right?
Servo: Ha, no, Mr. Robot, everything said here today is strictly confidential.
Crow: Definitely a Rebel Deep Diving Lure for early spring.
Servo: Yes, yes. Ah well I see our time is up, Crow. Uh, we'll be right back.
Servo: I'm prescribing a series of commercials.
Crow: Gee, I... I feel kind of embarrassed about the things I told you in our session.
Servo: Don't worry, Crow, as I said before, whatever you tell me in the privacy of my office is in the strictest of confidence.
Mike: Hi, guys.
Servo: Haha, say Mike, you'll never believe some of the weird stuff this nutcup is into here!
Servo: Do you know that he uses a Rebel Deep Diving lure in early spring?
Crow: No, no I don't, I lied about that.
Crow: Hey, hey!
Dr. F: Oh you'll have to excuse me, things have been a little hectic down here this week. You see, my mother's coming to visit, and well, we've redecorated in her honor. She's the one person in my life who's responsible for my deep psychological scar and naturally I wanted the place to look nice for her. Oh, I'm going to send you along some material that I want you to say to her when she gets here. You do a good job and I'll show you my appreciation by not killing you. Frank!
Frank: Oh relax, Clay, everything is under control. Look, I made your mother this nice fruit bowl... no oranges, though.
Dr. F: No.
Frank: Your mother can't have oranges, the citric acid gives her gas.
Dr. F: No, that's a very good point Frank, bec-how do you know so much about my mother?
Frank: Well I've been corresponding with her regularly for quite some time now, I thought you knew that.
Dr. F: No I... Oh, that's her! Oh, come in! Mother...
Pearl: It's so wonderful to see you.
Frank: Oh, you look fabulous!
Pearl: Oh, oh, thank you for the lovely card. That was so thoughtful of you. We have so much to talk about... Before we talk about anything else, there is one thing I have got to tell you about and I...
Frank: Wait, wait, let me guess... Meg Anderson's party!
Frank and Pearl: Ahahahahahahaha!
Pearl: Well, you're not gonna believe it, but I wore the blue dress.
Frank: You didn't!
Pearl: I most certainly did, and you should have seen her when I...
Dr. F: Mother?
Dr. F: Some friends of mine have put together a little presentation in your honor. Ha, I told them not to but they uh, they... uh, they're a bunch of knuckleheads well, you know... Let's uh... watch.
Mike: Hi, Clayton. Oh, I see that your mother is here. It's great to finally meet the mother of such a good friend of mine. Many is the time you and I have engaged in spirited hijinks. I enjoy your company very, very much.
Servo: Oh, mmm-hmm, I hope your visit from your mother doesn't interfere with. Your brilliant science experiments when the history of the. 20th Century is ultimately written the name of one man. Will tower above all others, that man is you. Dr. Clayton Forrester.
Crow: Dr. Clayton Forrester, you have made the world a better place. Bu... Oh, I'm staying underground. I can't believe this. Who wrote this junk? This is so stupid!
Gypsy: Dr. Forrester, perhaps no other individual embodies the style, pinnace, and verve of the elegant fortipolo more than you. You're... Oh, I can't do this! Mrs. Forrester, your son is sick! He's sick! He needs serious help! If there's anything you can do to help him, you should really...
Dr. F: Well, I guess there's really not much left to say other than your movie this week is called "Bloodlust". It's immediately preceded by a short called "A Visit to Uncle Jim's Farm". I never visited my uncle; after all, a boy's best friend is his mother.
Gypsy: Now I understand why he's so sick! Boy, I'm tempted to call her something that rhymes with bitch!
Crow: Oh, wow! She said the word!
Servo: I know! Wow!
Mike: Oh, oh we've got Movie Sign!
Servo: Gypsy's in trouble, Gypsy's in trouble!
Crow: Uh, well mighty neighborly of you Mike! Take her easy! Not much traffic here today, huh. Wonder if this was the best location for my produce stand... Suppose not a lot of people have cars here on the Satellite of Love. Hehehehe, woo. Hey, sounds like I've got me a potential customer coming down the road, yeah. Of course the only guy I know who has a car around these parts is Tom... Oh, no! Oh my God! Geez! Next time buy something! Oh, oh...
Mike: Well, seems like a good idea and uh, hey! Good luck with your "vegables" stand. Uh, I'm gonna go off and be uh, Kenny G, so I'll see you later.
Crow: Now get in a line, get in a row, grab your partner, here we go! Swing her high and swing her low, don't step on that pretty little toe! Now promenade! Woo-hoo! Yeehaw! Eating turkey, eating cornbread, she ain't skinny, she's real well fed! Allemande left and allemande right, Allemande left and allemande right. Now promenade! Allemande right and form a chain, Now form a star and circulate to your left. Ladies chain now do si do, uh, Allemande and pick ball change. Uh, uh now promenade. A shake for breakfast, Shake for lunch, A sensible meal and you can munch. The lowest prices all the time, refreshing splash of lemon lime. Ahh! They closed the mine! The factory's doomed! Such is England! It's all cruel work to me! Pretty bikers! There's no future! No future! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Anarchy! Anarchy! Ahh! Now promenade.
Crow: Yeehaw, Cambot!
Mike: We got Movie Sign!
Servo: Oh, hello. Welcome to tonight's Mystery Murder Dinner Party.
Crow: I did it!
Mike: Aw, Crow!
Servo: Oh you just ruined everything.
Gypsy: Oh, for crying out loud.
Mike: Oh, I had this whole colonel thing worked up and then... ah...
Crow: Ooh! Hey, is this whole pie for me? Oops.
Crow and Servo: Aah!
Servo: What, what?
Crow: You scared me!
Servo: What the heck are you...
Crow: Look, as long as Nelson's on the loose, you and I are not safe. Now keep low and stick with me.
Crow: Tom, Mike's secretly been hunting us down. Think about it. He's just like the guy in the movie. All alone...
Crow: Was a sniper during the war...
Servo: Yeah... He was?
Crow: Well, I'm pretty sure, yeah.
Servo: Crow, you don't think...
Mike: Hi, guys.
Crow and Servo: Aah!
Mike: That was weird. Well, we got some letters here, you guys wanna... join... in the letters... I guess not. This first one is from uh, Joann Ross, put that on still store, you can see the nice stickers and stuff. Joann says: "Dear Mike and the Robots, Hi, I love your show. You guys are the greatest." Thanks. "Please do me a favor, if you get a chance, would you please tell my mom that Tom Servo isn't related to E.T." Mom, Tom Servo, not related to E.T., there's no relationship whatsoever. This next one uh, is from Kevin Mullins and it comes with a nice little picture, put the letter up there. It says: "Dear Cambot Incorporated, I would like to see more Cambot on the show." That's nice. "And if you say no I will want to know why." Cambot, you've been warned. "If Gypsy flies the ship, why doesn't she fly it back to Earth?" That's a good question, there's... there's no easy answers, Kevin. Put that little picture up; it's real sweet. You can see uh, there's Crow and Gypsy and Servo and over here is Boyd Gaines from the old "One Day at A Time" show. So uh, real nice letter. Thanks, Kevin. And uh...
Crow and Servo: Hahaha!
Mike: Hey, what's going on?
Crow: All right, Mike, we wanna hear you promise that you won't hunt us down and stuff us and hang us over the mantle piece.
Mike: Well, guys, you... you know I can't promise that.
Crow and Servo: Aah!
Mike: I'm just kidding! I was kidding, you guys.
Servo: I knew that.
Mike: Back down to you, Dr. Florentine. Come on here, you little guys.
Dr. F: Mother, dinner is ready. Mom, dinner.
Frank and Pearl: Ah... Hahahahahahahaha!
Frank: Say, Clay, nice spread. What's the occasion?
Dr. F: Oh don't be silly, Frank, this is just our typical evening meal. Uh, mother, uh sit right...
Pearl: It looks great kid, it really does, don't get me wrong, but well, Frank and I are going out tonight!
Frank: That's right, it's Thirst Day Thursdays down at the Tijuana Taxi Company. Wahunga!
Pearl: And I think I'll just stay at the airport Ramada tonight. I've got an early flight, but I will see you at the hearing.
Dr. F: Well, I'll...
Dr. F: Give me that! Argh!
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