Experiments MSTies Anonymous SOL Post The Club MSTie Net



605 Colossus and the Headhunters 08/20/94
606 Creeping Terror 09/17/94
607 Bloodlust 09/03/94



606 Creeping Terror A Best Brains Production
Transcripts by D.Billany@Loc-dog.demon.co.uk
Prologue
Segment 1
Segment 2
Segment 3
Segment 4
Segment 5
606.wav "If my deepest, darkest despair had choreography, this would be it." -Servo 67k
606a.wav "Uh, Mike? Hehe." -Crow
"Well you see, when a monster and a small car love each other very much..." -Mike
"Wow!" -Crow
73k



Prologue


Servo: Woah-woah. Hold it right there, fella. Come back here and sign in please.
Mike: Hey, what's up, Servo?
Servo: Sorry, company policy.
Mike: What? Since when?
Servo: Well, since things have been getting too darn lax around here. You realize just about anybody could walk up here on the Satellite of Love, walk around...
Mike: Hey, I live here!
Servo: Eh. You can't expect me to keep track of everything.
Mike: Hey, let me just drop these Mole Men comics off at Crow. I'll be right back.
Servo: Now hold on a second. Uh, hello Crow?
Crow: What?
Servo: Uh, we got a uh... uh, what's the name again?
Mike: Mike Nelson!
Servo: We got a Mike Nelson up here. Are you expecting him down there on that side of the ship?
Crow: Nelson. Uh, yeah, yeah.
Servo: Huh. Well, sign in please.
Mike: And sign in too. Alright.
Servo: Don't forget the time. 11:43.
Mike: Eleven forty-three, alright... Okay, I'll just drop this off. Crow, here ya go.
Servo: Woah-woah-woah. Sign out, will ya?
Mike: Oh, come on, this is ridiculous!
Servo: Company policy!
Mike: We'll be right back.
Servo: Eleven forty-three... Oh, wait. 11:44.
Mike: Eleven forty-four.


Segment 1


Mike: I think we'd better wake him up. He did a couple of back-to-back shifts. Servo!
Servo: Ah! Red alert! Red alert! Send backup! Someone's breaking into the vending machine!
Crow: And to think he's getting $4.35 an hour.
Mike: Yeah. Ah! Ah, Ponch and John are calling.
Crow: Oh, hey.
Frank: Dah-dah, Clay looks better in a sweater washed in... Let's see, put the white cottons in with the denim, where is that silk dress anyway? Uh, put the towels in with the woolens, and what's this here...
Dr. F: Oh, Nelson! Come on in! Laundry day down here! Once a year whether there's a full load or not. Where was I... Oh, yes! Have you noticed that coffee houses are all the rage? I've observed that coffee houses are bursting at the seams with pretentiousness. Therefore you can't even be in a coffee house and not be pretentious. Now to prove it to you, the un-believer, I've sent along up some of the trappings of the coffee house. Surly waitress not included.
Frank: Clay, where are your fine washables? I know I bought more underpants than we have here... Give me that!
Mike: Oh, come on, I think we can be in a coffee house without becoming pretentious.
Servo: Sure! Don't worry, Mike, we'll just sit here and prove 'em wrong.
Gypsy: I don't feel a thing!
Crow: Yeah, it's definetly not working.... I've been recording my life in pastelles!
Servo: The only question worth asking is, "What am I going through right now?"
Gypsy: You, the white male, are my personal oppressor! Oh my...
Crow: Yes! Yes! She is so great! I saw her one woman show, her soul cried out to me!
Gypsy: So I'll take my rage, and box it up! And take it out with the trash!
Servo: Yes...
Gypsy: Thank you.
Mike: Thanks a lot, Dr. Forrester. You see what you've done? You've turned my robots into self-absorbed little posers.
Gypsy: A white male, middle-class, power holder would say that, Mike.
Mike: I'm not a white ma... I'm not a...
Servo: Fascist!
Mike: Don't call me...
Gypsy: Pig.
Dr. F: Uh... ah! Ah-ha-hoo-hoo! Ah-booga-booga-ha! Pardon my revelry, but I prove once again that Dr. Clayton Forrester is right-right-right! Hahaha! Well, your movie this week, cow-sills, is called "The Creeping Terror"! And I just know you'll hate it! Thank you!
Frank: Hey, I'll show ya creeping terrors: these grass stains!
Servo: Well, don't you get it, Mike? The fact that we can acknowledge our own pretentiousness says something about us as artists!
Mike: But we're not artists.
Crow: Well, maybe you're not, Michael...
Mike: I don't think any of us are... Oh, we got Movie Sign!
Crow: Oh, this thing! Yes, I suppose I'll run.


Segment 2


Crow: Oh, Mike, ya know that California flag, the one with the goofy-looking bear?
Mike: California Grizzly Bear. They're extinct, you know.
Crow: Oh, too bad. Anyway, I was thinking, we are many and yet, we are one here on the Satellite of Love, just like California! And so, I made us a flag! And Mike...
Servo: Haddy-hup!
Crow: Mike, would you help us raise it?
Mike: Yes. Okay.
Crow: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the Satellite of Love! Free! United! Fruited! That grand by-loved orb born of the loins of our founder Juhk DuPujawonnakennadapeenywah! Farmer! Claims Adjuster! Rebel! With alabastern symmetry and golden rings of Xanadu! One Satellite! Under God... or not! Inderwigible! With liberty and justice for all! Thank you. Oh, one last thing, Michael. Uh, check your night-stand. You'll find a cyanide capsule in case we're ever taken.
Mike: I'm not taking cyanide!
Servo: Aren't you one of us, Mike?
Mike: Well, cyanide goes to my hips.
Servo: Ah, a Tory, eh? Outsider! Ravagist! Ravoacatoouch! Do you know you have only one life to live in the blood! Give me liberty or kill me! Hey, my hat...


Segment 3


Gypsy: Mike! I think it's time we blew the lid off Love, American Style.
Mike: Gypsy, I think you're right! Hit it, Cambot!
Mike, Crow, Servo and Gypsy: Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah!
Gypsy: Mr. Martinson, please!
Crow: But I just wanna dictate to you!
Mike, Crow, Servo and Gypsy: Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah! Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah!
Servo: Ha ha. Well, I'm finally gonna propose to Debbie!
Mike: That's great. Let's see the ring! Oh no, the ring is stuck!
Servo: I guess we'll have to get married!
Mike and Servo: Hahahaha.
Mike, Crow, Servo and Gypsy: Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah! Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah!
Crow: Well, I thought that...
Mike: Well, I thought that you...
Crow: This has all been a big misunderstanding!
Mike: I love you!
Mike, Crow, Servo and Gypsy: Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah!
Gypsy: So take that, Love, American Style!
Servo: Now I hope they have the sense to take it off the air, and the courage to show this parody.
Mike: And they say there's no hard-hitting satire on television anymore!
Crow: I dare 'em to show it!
Gypsy: Yeah...
Mike, Crow, Servo and Gypsy: Oh, we got Movie Sign!
Crow: We gotta get outta here! We gotta go!


Segment 4


Servo: Wow!
Mike: Hey, you guys, I finally got my stereo system set up.
Servo: Looks pretty substantial, Mike. What kind is it?
Mike: Oh, nothing much. Got the Nokamichi CD 1000 transport fiber-link to the PS audio uh, 20-bit uh, DA converter. Of course that goes to my Bryston straight-line pre-amp, out to the Carver 400-watt mono-blocks, and uh, over to the DCM time-window 7.
Crow: Yeah, sounds great, Mike. As for me, I've got one of them Goldstar bookshelf jobs.
Servo: Yeah, a boombox is enough for me, Mike.
Mike: You disgust me.
Servo: Huh?
Mike: Come on, you guys, haven't you ever heard a good system? Get into the sweet spot here. Now, listen to this. Come on. As the kids say, this is gonna blow your mind!
Crow: Mike, that's the music from "The Creeping Terror"!
Mike: Yeah!
Servo: Sounds pretty lame, Mike.
Mike: Oh, come on, listen to the definition, the imaging, there's plenty of air 'round the instruments. Uh, here let me replay it for you. Replay that... Listen to that, huh?
Servo: Yeah, neat. Well, you know, Mike, I think we're gonna listen to it from uh, over here.
Crow: Yeah, yeah, uh-oh, look! There's the sweet spot! Over here!
Mike: Ah, fine, who needs you.
Crow: Hey...
Servo: Wanna catch that?


Segment 5


Crow: Ho-ho-ho-ho! Here I come, Tommy!
Servo: Okay, buddy, slide right down!
Mike: Crow! What in the world are you doing?
Crow: Hey! Hey! Hey! Woah! Ow! Right on my head!
Mike: Here!
Gypsy: Thanks, Mike. Oh, I hope you don't think that was my idea.
Mike: No, I think I know whose idea it was. Hey, Tom!
Servo: Hey, Mike! See if you can get her to swallow you! It's really neat!
Gypsy: Oh, this is so embarrassing! I don't look fat, do I?
Mike: No, Gypsy, you don't look fat. You're a little lumpy, maybe, but not fat!
Gypsy: Oh, this is embarrassing.
Servo: Come on! Jump in and experience the alimentary canal in action! It's the ultimate trip!
Mike: Uh, no thanks, I think I'll pass. So to speak.
Servo: Okay.
Mike: Anyway, we got letters to read.
Gypsy: Mike, I don't feel well all of a sudden. I think I'm getting allergic to Tom.
Mike: Yeah, join the club, Gypsy.
Gypsy: I think I'll go get a tissue. I think I...
Mike: Okay! Crow, you wanna read some letters here?
Crow: Me?
Mike: Yeah!
Crow: Really?
Mike: Well, you're the only one here.
Crow: Oh boy, thanks for choosing me!
Mike: You weren't my first choice, but... no, I'm kidding.
Crow: I know...
Mike: Alright, here we go. This one is from uh, Ja... Put that up on Still Store there, cause this is from Jason of the Salt Ride of Fun.
Crow: What the Hell does that mean?
Mike: It says it right there, "Jason of the Salt Ride of Fun," and he says, "Superman's a comic book and not the graphic novel..."
Crow: Superman's dead.
Mike: Hehe. He also says, "P.S. The robot in the picture is 2XL, and can I be on your show?" A neat robot, but no, you can't be on our show. Sorry, sorry Jason of the Salt Ride of Fun.
Crow: No-no-no-no-no-no. Weird.
Mike: Hahahaha. Now, the next one is from uh, David Banks.
Crow: Hello, David!
Mike: Hello, Dave! That's wild, Dave. And he says that, "I have found that your show is one of the best around. I especially love it when Crow says 'Kitties!' when dangerous lions are seen. Please ask Crow to say 'Kitties' a couple of times for me."
Crow: Oh, I don't know, Michael. I just can't indulge every little fan request...
Mike: A little command performance... a little massage there...
Crow: Oh, yes, okay. Kitties... kitties...
Gypsy: Ah! Ah! Ah-choo!
Servo: Yah!
Mike: Well..guess it's back to you, Dr. Clayton Forrester. Are you alright?
Crow: Mike, you'd better come and look at this!
Servo: It hurts... it hurts...
Dr. F: Well, until we meet again, on behalf of Frank and myself, here's wishing you whiter whites...
Frank: Whiter whites!
Dr. F: Brighter brights...
Frank: Brighter brights!
Dr. F: May all your rinsing be gentle... and may all your troubles come out in the wash! Ta-ta!



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