|1002||Girl in Gold Boots||04/18/99|
|1003||Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders||09/12/99|
|1002.wav||"Hell's pusses." -Crow||18k|
Servo: Ah. Oh yeah, that's nice. You are a miracle worker, my friend!
Mike: Hi, everyone. Mike Nelson here. Welcome to the Satellite of Love. I'm here with Tom Servo and uh...
Servo: So anyway, that's what Jerry Jeff Walker would do.
Mike: He sounds like a man of great character.
Mike: Crow, what's the bracelet with all the W's stand for?
Crow: Oh, this stands for the "What Would the World Wide Wrestling Federation, Woodrow Wilson, Wet Willie, Wesley Willis, Wade Wilson, William Wyler, Wendy Wasterstien, Walt Whitman, Willy Wonka, Vim Vendors..."
Mike: Okay, alright, okay. Can it. Pearl's calling us.
Bobo: No no, Lawgiver, please. Oh boy, that is most unpleasant. And I'm missing "That Girl."
Pearl: So, Nelson, once I'm finished with you, I'll return to the institute with proof -- proof -- that it is they who were mad. Mad for not seeing the potential behind my grandest experiment. Hahahahahehehehehahahaha!
Servo: Pearl? What the Samuel Langhorn Hell are you talking about?
Pearl: What am talking about? Why, nothing less than world domination! Hahaha.
Mad Scientist: Okay, Pearl, I think I've got a pretty good idea of what you're capable of. I'm just going to make some notes.
Pearl: Okay, great. Um, take any space you need.
Mad Scientist: Thank you.
Pearl: Hey, morons. Sorry about all that. I gotta get board-certified with the Institute of Mad Scientists. I didn't know it, but it's illegal to rule the world if you're not board-certified. Brain Guy!
Observer: Yes, madam.
Pearl: I wanted to give you a hump.
Observer: Now look, whatever your feelings are for me, I think they should be put aside...
Pearl: On your back, idiot.
Observer: That's sexual harassment and I don't have to take it.
Pearl: A latex hump.
Observer: Now see here!
Pearl: Would you just put this on?
Mad Scientist: Okay, well why don't you show me how you plan to take over the world and I'll throw in if I have any questions.
Mike: Hey, guys.
Crow: Yeah, Mike. You're probably wondering why I'm pissed off at you.
Mike: Uh no, not really.
Crow: Well, too bad. I'm going to exact petty, childish revenge on you.
Crow: Yeah, and I'm gonna have to pour beer on your most beloved object. Hehehe. Well, what is your most beloved object?
Mike: Oh, uh... Well, I'd have to say my personalized, heirloom beer stein.
Crow: Yeah! Hahahahaha! Oh uh, say, could you uh, help me exact revenge with...
Mike: Oh no, Crow, please Crow, no... Uh, sure!
Crow: Okay, okay. There. Nice and easy like.
Servo: Yeah! Alright, baby! Shake what your mamma gave you! Yeah!
Mike: Hey, Tom, have you seen the Scotch tape? What the hell is going on here?
Servo: Well, we set up a little club here, Mike. Good times, man!
Mike: But Crow is, is...
Servo: Shaking his money-maker, that's right. Go, baby!
Crow: Oh, I'm going! Check this out. Watch.
Servo: Oh yeah! Shake your good stuff, baby!
Mike: But Crow, he's shaking all his various things and he has a tiny, gold bikini on.
Servo: Not for long.
Crow: But first you have to stuff money in it.
Servo: Oh oh yeah, Mike, get my bag. We gotta start stuffin'. I got a roll of singles in there as big as a pork roast!
Mike: No! No, Crow will keep all his clothes on, no matter how miniscule they are.
Crow: I don't even usually wear clothes, Mike. What's your deal?
Servo: I think you're uncomfortable acknowledging Crow as a sexual being.
Mike: He's not a sexual being! He's a robot, and so are you.
Crow: Man, you have such body issues, Mike.
Servo: Mike "Tallabam" Nelson.
Crow: You know, I'm sorry if you're ashamed of your body, Mike. Me, I'm not.
Servo: Ashamed of our bodies, that is. We are ashamed of yours!
Mike: Your lips are slender, your eyes are blue. Your hair is blonde, your lips the way they're red. Your skin, your fingers, your ears, your nose. Your touch, your feet, I am sad.
Crow: Um, Mike? The water there? Um, it got into a fuse box. Uh, there's a small fire. Uh, that's okay. We'll get it.
Mike: I need you so much, I fall down and cry.
Crow: Mike uh, look. Oh, I'll wait.
Mike: You smile and you cry, you're like wine.
|Mike: Raindrops and snowflakes and puppies. Oh, I could cry for them too.||Crow: Mike, would you forget about the raindrops and the puppies and get out? Life support is failing, decks 3 through 7 are gone. Oh my God, Servo, look out!|
|Mike: I love your eyes, they're like wine. Yes, wine. I am so sad and I feel like like rain. Nachos? Woah! Be right there!||Crow: Uh yeah, Mike, we got it. There's still alot of smoke and water down here, but as far as we know, it's out. Now look, we're gonna go make some nachos, okay?|
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