Experiments MSTies Anonymous SOL Post The Club MSTie Net

010 Cosmic Princess 01/22/89
011 Humanoid Woman 01/29/89
012 Fugitive Alien 02/05/89

011 Humanoid Woman
Segment 1
Segment 2
Segment 3
Segment 4
Segment 5
011.wav "This is corny. They're Corn Chex." -Servo
"Ohohohoho!" -Crow
"That was rich." -Joel
011a.wav "We have an unidentified object up ahead." -Sergei
"What is it?" -Crow

Segment 1

Dr. E: Is it working for you?
Dr. F: Shh! Oh, we're on. Did you see the ratings from last week's show? They went up!
Dr. E: Against the Super Bowl! I don't get it! The hot levels were out of this world, too. We've got to send him something really awful this week. What do you have?
Dr. F: Well, I'd like to shake hands with the man who can think his way around this film. It's another Sandy Frank epic, this time from Chechylslovakia. Even Joelie's mother couldn't watch this thing.
Dr. F and Dr. E: Aaaahahahahaha!
Dr. E: Let's see what the boy wonder is up to.
Dr. F: Good idea. Hello, Joel the mole.
Joel: Hello, sirs! Hey, great movie last week, huh? You know, I don't think a lot of people realize this, but it wasn't really a movie, it was just two Space 1999 segments edited together.
Dr. E: Regardless of what it was, it put your ratings through the ceiling!
Dr. F: Even you could've beaten the Cincinnati Bengals, and I'm out fifty bucks!
Joel: Hey, maybe they'll give me MVP!
Dr. F: Don't get cocky with me, you orbiting Wilfred Brimley wannabe!
Dr. E: Joel, do the words oxygen deprivation mean anything to you? Look, if your ratings keep going up, we'll be forced to send you...
Joel: Geez, you guys. Last week, the ratings were low and you got mad.
Dr. F: Hey, we're mad scientists. What do you expect? Larry, put in Humanoid Woman.
Joel: Movie Sign!

Segment 2

Crow: Tag! You're it!
Gypsy: You're it, Joel! I got you!
Joel: Hey, come here, you guys! Come on in here, everybody. We got Movie Sign!
Gypsy: Movie Sign?
Crow: Uh-oh, Movie Sign.
Joel: We got Movie Sign. Hey, Servo. You're it. Psych!

Segment 3

Servo: Macho, macho, macho robot. There's no question I'm a macho guy. Hey! Whoa, excuse me, miss. Say, I've never noticed you on the satellite before. Hahaha. I'm Tom Servo, man about satellite. Sure, I may look small, but I'm built like a Quisinar. Really. You know, don't think me forward miss, but I couldn't help but notice that you've got 11 settings. You know, you're kinda quiet, and I like that in a woman! Too many of the gals I've known just like to rub exotic oils on me and fan me and... Which is okay, I guess, but I need a change. I need a woman more my speed and I happened to notice, you've got 11 of 'em. Wait, I must've offended you. You're blushing! No? That's juice, I think. You know, I've always found juice in the head to be quite a turn-on, my little scientific calculator, you. Hahahaha. Ever gotten a wild hair and just filled your head with guacamole for the hell of it? If you're the kinda girl who throws caution to the wind, if you know what I mean. And if you do, will you please tell me? Hahahaha. Hey, I see you've still got a power cord! An old-fashioned gal. I like that. I like a good tail on a woman. Hahahaha. Pardon me, I know I've been coming on a little bit strong, but I love your lines. You've got classic features! Crush, grate, chop, puree... Baby, you've got it all! Haha. Excu- And a lovely singing voice, too! Baby, you do got it all! Joel, I'm in love! Buddy...
Joel: What do you mean, Servo?
Servo: Joel, Joel... My God, man! You've defiled my honor! Nobody drinks from my gal. The gall has been thrown!
Joel: Hey uh, Servo, it's a blender.
Servo: Oh. Excuse me, miss. You know, you've got beautiful... Oh, excuse me, Mr. Coffee. I'm so embarassed!

Segment 4

Joel: Hey, great job, Cambot. That looks good. I want to thank Cambot for turning us upside down for this special tribute to Salvador Dali.
Servo: You know, Joel, what was your first experience with surrealism?
Joel: Um, well I think it would have to be, Servo, back when I was on Earth and I was a little boy in first grade... Um, the Monkeys TV show. They had those dream sequences. They were pretty surreal.
Crow: I like those Dali watches. You know, they take a licking and keep on dripping? Hahahahaha.
Servo: You want surreal? I'll give you surreal: A Very Brady Christmas. Just watching little Cindy age! I dunno, didn't she get killed in Vietnam or something?
Joel: No, I don't like how this segment is going. Well, we got Movie Sign!

Segment 5

Servo: I'm a macho, macho guy...
Joel: Thanks for uh, all your calls. All the people who have called in, we really appreciate it.
Servo: You know, Joel... Where you ever a big Village People fan?
Joel: Me? No. Just for about half a second and then I realized... what was going on.
Servo: You know, I was reading an article, kinda one of those "Where Are They Today?" articles.
Joel: Uh-huh?
Servo: I read that one of them is a construction worker now, one of them is a uh, Indian, one of them is a cowboy up in Montana, and one of them is a police officer. Work with me, here.
Joel: That's justice.
Servo: It is.
Joel: Yeah. What about you, Crow? What are you going to do while the show's not on this week?
Crow: Well, I, uh... I'm going to get some things done around the satellite. You know, some uh... maintenance I've been wanting to catch up on.
Joel: Uh-huh.
Crow: But not that exciting, but you know. Kinda, you know... had to happen.
Joel: And the people who call in, we really don't any control over what movies come in, so quit trying to tell us what to do on those calls, allright?
Servo: Unless you're friendly about it.
Joel: Yeah, we really can't control it. But uh, I guess that's it.
Servo: How about a big Dating Game kiss?
Joel: Okay!
Joel, Crow and Servo: Mwaaaaa!
Servo: Well, granted you we don't have those arms.
Joel: Can we fix that in post-production?
Crow: I've never seen the Dating Game. How do they...
Servo: Talk to Joel! 623-7655!
Crow: Bomb shell.
Servo: This is Tom Servo, saying goodbye... And God like you.

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